Fix Me (Ricky Hil feat. Leona Lewis): A Song About Grief and Loss

A song about grief and loss… 

“Fix Me” by Ricky Hil and Leona Lewis is so deep and haunting…

“Fix Me” reminds me of what it is like to grieve the loss of my children. The loss is so deep, at times I can hardly breathe because the memories I hold in my heart are so heavy on my chest. 

“Will you fix me, will you show me how to breathe, Before all is gone and my hope is lost, baby…”

“Fix Me” also reminds me of the very real grief and loss experienced by a parent who has lost custody and/or been forcibly separated from a child(ren) due to an unjust family court or CPS/DHS order.  Parents who have been alienated from their children also experience similar emotions, and also go through a grieving process. The parent does go through the stages of grief, and will experience a range of emotions, these feelings are a valid response to what they have experienced. It does NOT make a parent crazy that they mourn the loss of a child even though that child is still alive…

“I am lost, I can’t find my way… You were gone, when I’m awake..”

The loss of the child(ren) is compounded by the injustice that parent may have experienced, and coerced secrecy. By “coerced secrecy” I mean that many parents are afraid to speak up or even share their grief with someone who can help because they fear further retaliation from the Court. Coerced Secrecy is the messages, threats, intimidation and actions that encourage secrecy, to remain silent out of fear that speaking up or raising concern will lead to real harm against you, or your children.

“I’m alone and it’s real, but I don’t know now.. My heart is all I have and my brains are wearing out…”

“Fix You” reminds me also the tremendous internal battle a grieving parent fights to survive loss and justice, to keep fighting for their child…to be able to try to live even when the most precious, most meaningful thing in your life–your child(ren) has been taken from you.

“And when I’m lost, can’t find my way, And when it’s lost, it finds me some way…”

Every parent has a different way of coping with grief and loss.  Friends and family play a tremendous role in offering comfort. There are also professional and community supports available. For me, my greatest source of strength and hope was through my faith in God. I also did alot of volunteer work in the community, channeling the energies I formally used as a mother into helping and serving others. Listening to music also became a positive outlet for me.

For those parents experiencing the loss of a child I have described, you are not alone. Nor are you broken beyond repair. The loss you are experiencing is real. But even greater than the loss and the pain, even greater than injustice, is the love you have for your children. Your fight for your child is not always fought in the courtroom, sometimes the battle is won in the person who takes a breathe even when it so hard to breathe. The person who reaches out for help after they have been coerced into secrecy. The person that says “I will live” even though their heart is breaking. That person is YOU.

– Emily Court/M21

To my children DJ & JJ, I love you with all of my heart. I pray for you every night. I pray that one day we can be a family again, that you will come home. Even though things are tough now, and I cannot see you, hope for the day you can come home keeps me strong. I thank God for you. And am so blessed to be your Mommy. You will be forever and always, my precious babies! <3 x <3

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Ten Types of Personality Disorder Comments (I Believe Mr. X Has Borderline Personality Disorder)

A must read article “The Ten Types of Personality Disorder” by Value Your Body helps you understand and identify the distinctive set of traits, behavior styles, and patterns of those afflicted with personality disorder. http://odyb.net/disorders/the-10-types-of-personality-disorder

Personality Disorder is a REAL and SERIOUS mental health condition that requires treatment. If left untreated, the personality disordered person’s quality of life is greatly diminished. Also, the personality disordered person can cause havoc and behave abusively towards family, friends or lash out against society.

MY STORY:     I survived a very abusive relationship and in my opinion, I believe Mr. X has Borderline Personality Disorder based on his behavior, and what I have read about BPD. The court ordered psych eval said Mr. X has a “personality disorder” but not did not specify.

Only when I pushed in court, did Mr. X seek one or two sessions of “counseling” then declared he is cured. It is doubtful the psychologist had access to Mr. X’s medical history (he frequently engages in doctor shopping) or the court ordered psych eval (the Guardian ad Litem JM has worked to suppress the eval in her goal to award Mr. X sole custody of the children). BPD is difficult to treat because often the patient denies they have a problem, and is not only resistant to treatment but will try to charm, con or outsmart the treating physician. 

Borderline Personality Disorder from Psych Central: 

“The main feature of borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a pervasive pattern of instability in interpersonal relationships, self-image and emotions. People with borderline personality disorder are also usually very impulsive, oftentimes demonstrating self-injurious behaviors…

Borderline personality disorder occurs in most by early adulthood. The unstable pattern of interacting with others has persisted for years and is usually closely related to the person’s self-image and early social interactions. The pattern is present in a variety of settings..”

http://psychcentral.com/disorders/borderline-personality-disorder-symptoms/

Some personality disordered traits I have noticed in Mr. X:

*Lifelong history or behavioral pattern of addictive behavior, having multiple types of addiction

*Has a belief that it is “me against the world”. You are either on his side or the enemy, period.

*Believes his life is an epic battle of “good vs. evil” and that the world does not understand him, and that only specially chosen people understand who he really is, and are meant to be in his life to help win this war, on his side. If Mr. X feels that you are no longer one of the specially chosen, he will quickly and brutally discard you with no emotion, regard or second thought to any relationship you once shared.

“Grumpy Man 1880’s, Karen at Graphics Fairy

 

*Due to his beliefs and attitudes, Mr. X cannot work with other people or socialize normally.

a) He cannot hold a regular job. He is self-employed and his business practices are chaotic. In dealing with the public he is dishonest (“con” man) and manipulates people to his advantage. He displays predatory behavior in his business practices. He feels the whole world should revolve around his needs and desires, and if it does not then something is wrong with the other person or he is a victim. 

b)He does not have any close friends, again uses people or just prefers to be alone. He also thinks he is smarter than everyone else, and has to maneuver around people who are trying to hurt him (aka I will get you first before you get me).

*Mr. X has a long history of developing close relationships with vulnerable young girls, barely out of their teens, and in my opinion seeks the company of young, vulnerable girls rather than adult women. Mr. X has the same pathological pattern for dealing with these young girls, this goes back many years, it is a lifelong pattern.
It is my opinion that Mr. X chooses young girls because they are easier to mold and shape. The girls are more dependent, and have less experience in the real world. And Mr. X gains satisfaction from being able to “rescue” the girl and playing the “super hero”. If she steps out of line, he will forced her back into submission through violence, threats and intimidation.


*Multi-generational family history of abuse and dysfunction– mental and physical abuse, alcoholism, mental illness etc

*Long history of criminal convictions and civil charges, the rules and laws of society do not apply to him. 

Even when my children describe what how Mr. X treats a police officer when he gets a speeding ticket is disturbing because my kids are learning to manipulate, that the law doesn’t mean anything if you can learn how to get around it. My kids tell me that, “Mom if I look like this (makes sad face) and give ‘em the big, brown eyes that Dad won’t get a ticket when he is speeding.” And, “Mom guess what, Dad was pulled over for speeding! He told the cop his high heels made him do it. And that was not true. But he believed it anyways! (ha, ha, laughing)”

*Married an African woman only so that she can get a green card. He was married when he met me and did not even tell me. He was married when our kids were born and did not even tell me. For someone to carry off that sophisticated level of deception for so long is remarkable. Yes, Family Court and the Guardian was aware of this, and felt this was not a “red flag” for abusive behavior, and vocalized strong support of Mr. X.

*Was committed by the state to an institution and told bizarre stories about how he lied to the treating doctors so they would hear good things, and he could be released earlier. Mr. X also said when he was locked up in the hospital, he managed to escape, which meant fleeing the state and living as a fugitive for many years. The family court judge and Guardian ad Litem JM were aware of his active warrants when Mr. X was awarded sole custody.

booking2

*Capable of high levels of deception. You never know his true thoughts or feelings.
*Is a chameleon–will change his feelings and appearance to play other people, or to hide his true motivations.
*Plays poker (gambling addiction) and prides himself on fooling people. Prides himself on tricking people to do things they would not ordinarily do.

*When feeling threatened or stressed, will go into extreme fits of rage. My daughter told me that she wants to give “dad’ a deer target for Christmas because “he can take his rages out on that”

*The rages are followed by calm, unemotional states. He is perfectly fine when you are afraid, sad, upset or hurt. He does not understand your feelings and expects you to be fine and happy too. 
*Avoids responsibility– blames, threatens or intimidates others to take responsible. Then portrays himself as the “victim”.
*When he is caught and cannot deny his actions or under extreme stress, Mr. X may
a) go into a paranoid/schizotypal state lasting days, weeks or months
b) become unstable or violent
c) completely changes his persona and character and change into someone else
*Uses my children as pawns in his war against me. Is alienating the children against me. Has made my child afraid to come home. Has obstructed phone calls between the children and I. I was not even allowed to be with my children on Mother’s Day.

*Completely indifferent to the best interests of my children or the wishes of the children (parental alienation). Shows not remorse or emotional empathy when the children grieve the loss of their mother and entire maternal family, instead works to further separate me from the children in any way he can. 
*Has manipulated, lied and charmed people (triangulation) to spread lies and false allegations against me. Feels he is justified in doing so because he is the “victim”.

*Filed false reports with police, doctors, school and family court. 

*Shows no remorse for actions and choices that hurt other people. In fact, I don’t ever remember Mr. X apologizing for anyone. Mr. X believes his actions–any actions–are justified because he is involved in an epic battle of “me against the world” or that he is being “victimized”.  

*Has abused both me and my children. As a result of abuse, the kids and I were homeless for 18 mos

*Has begun to spread his bizarre and dysfunctional beliefs to my children, at times frightening them.
*The mental and physical abuse on my children is so severe that they both have emotional and behavioral problems.
*Mr. X  is responsible for the death of the family pet, a cat


*Stole my family history albums going back to the 1800’s to take revenge on me, and I had to go to court to get them back.

*Talks negatively about his own family, and makes negative comments and remarks about everyone in his family–his mother, father, cousins, everyone. He compares his mother to Joan Crawford in “Mommie Dearest”. Mr. X expected me to also hate my family and make him the ONLY part of my family, excluding everyone else. If Mr. X needed or wanted something, he would tolerate or manipulate his family for that reason only. Mr. X told me over and over again that he wanted to move to another state to get away from his family. But if the family has something he wants–he will appear to be nice, funny, even love-able to elicit sympathy, money, support–whatever
*Stalked me online, impersonated me online and broke into my e-mail accounts. Was watching me for months and I did not even know.

There is so much more…. but you get the idea. It is horrific that family court gave sole custody of my beautiful children to this man! They are not safe!

I truly believe that if you compared our two psych evals side by side, you could see who is the abuser, who has dominated and controlled the family, and other patterns evident in our relationship.

Thanks Value Your Body for posting this insightful article!

–Emily/M21

“Mask” uploaded to Photo Bucket by Lynn_Diabetes

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Why I Support “A Call to Action” – Complaints against Jamie Manning

I heard about this new group forming, A Call to Action, and for the first time in a very long time, I have hope.

Please share, pass around and spread the word about this courageous group of parents fighting to hold Jamie Manning, Guardian ad Litem (4th Judicial District, Hennepin County, Minnesota) accountable for actions that have harmed the children she is supposed to protect, and has devastated their families.

A Call to Action: Read Our Stories & Follow Our Cause athttp://parentingabusedkids.wordpress.com/call-to-action-c2a/

Read about the History of A Call to Action at: http://parentingabusedkids.wordpress.com/2009/06/05/maryland-guardiaadlitem/

Contact A Call to Action: VictimsOfManning@Hotmail.com or contact pakcomments@live.com for information on how you can join, updates and events. Please put “A Call to Action” in the header.

My Experience in Hennepin County FJC with Jamie Manning

FJC

My child custody case has been ongoing in Hennepin County since 2006, with Jamie Manning appointed as Guardian ad Litem from 2007 to 2013. I will be filing a motion soon and fear what will happen if Ms. Manning is re-appointed to my case. I fear for the safety and well-being of my two children.

Throughout her appointment, Ms. Manning has failed to perform the statutory responsibilities of a guardian ad litem, as described in Minnesota Statutes Section 518.165. Ms. Manning’s conduct and actions are so egregious that she has directly contributed to the ongoing physical and mental abuse of my children, and contributed to the declining mental health of my oldest son—who at one time was suicidal after Ms. Manning recommended custody to his alleged abuser. I have documentation and evidence to support my complaint, which I can provide upon request, and which has also been posted on FCI.

My children have been through so much—abuse from their father, homelessness and now forced separation from the mother who was once a stay at home mom, the primary source of love and stability in their lives. Ms. Manning’s recommendations are beyond comprehension. Ms. Manning recommended sole custody to Mr. X who was a wanted fugitive at the time of the order, has a long history of anti-social behavior including criminal charges and various addictions. The children and I became homeless after Mr. X attacked me, an incident both children witnessed, and threw us out on the street where we were homeless for 18 months. Mr. X, then 42, was carrying on a strange relationship with his first cousin, Michelle Evills, who was only 17. While we were homeless, Mr. X encouraged Michelle to run away from home so they could “be in love, together, forever” and has been living with her ever since. Michelle has recently purchased a home for Mr. X and my children to live in, and now tells people that she is the mother and legal guardian of my children, which is untrue. Michelle has also emotionally and physically abused my oldest son, and neglected him—and this child has special needs, and requires special care. Ms. Manning reported to the Court that Mr. X can provide better care for my children, even while the children are reporting abuse and both suffered from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. My son’s symptoms were so severe that he had to be hospitalized, in-patient, several times. During his hospitalization he said over and over things like “I learned my tantrums from Dad” and “I want to be the boss like Dad” and made various allegations of physical and emotional abuse. And this is the man Ms. Manning recommended sole custody to, and even helped him after he was arrested on the open warrants in 2013.

booking2

I survived an abusive relationship only to be re-traumatized in the court process. My custody case has been ongoing since 2006, it has a long, painful process that has literally ripped my children from my arms and given sole custody to an alleged abuser. Currently I only get to see my children one time a month, and Mr. X is alienating me from my children so there no contact or communication with the children other than the one visit.

images

How did this happen? Throughout her appointment, Ms. Manning has made false and heresy statements, manipulated the legal process, shown considerable bias and refused to contact witnesses or gather information needed to make an informed recommendation about child custody and visitation. I feel like Ms. Manning has waged a personal war against me. Ms. Manning has lied, invented evidence and covered up serious allegations of abuse against my children. Ms. Manning has lied to CPS so they would close an open investigation. Ms. Manning has made representations from professionals that were untrue. Ms. Manning has also violated several custody and parenting time orders to give Mr. X visitation that is outside the court order, and when I object, I am threatened or intimidated with loss of custody and/or parenting time. Ms. Manning has failed to contact important witnesses or gather collateral information needed to make a complete report. Often Ms. Manning is completing her reports at the last minute, and will give me the report minutes before I walk into Court.  There is so much I could say… My children have continued to be abused and put at risk of harm—and I believe Ms. Manning has directly contributed to their suffering.

My children have been traumatized and will carry lifelong scars. To be honest, I fear that my oldest son DJ may never fully recover because he is so emotionally and psychologically damaged. My daughter JJ holds in all of her true feelings and thoughts, she has begun to act out in ways that are self destructive and her behavior leads people to believe something is wrong with her, when the truth is that she is just a very hurt, grieving, little girl. Both of my children want to come home, but they can’t. My youngest son, RJ who is just a toddler, who was not a party to this custody case, wanders around the house asking for his brother and sister. He does not understand why they cannot come home. RJ sits in the room he shares with his brother, playing with trains and imagining DJ is there. We deal with the pain and loss every day. And that cannot even compare to what DJ and JJ are experiencing, living in a dysfunctional and unsafe environment.

No parent should have to live the nightmare that is my life—my children deserve to be safe, happy and live a life free of abuse. As a Guardian Ms. Manning has completely failed to do her job. I strongly urge those handling the complaints against Ms. Manning to please listen to the stories of the families involved with an open mind, review our documentation and evidence, and when proven that Ms. Manning has violated the Rules of Procedure, she should be relieved of her position. http://mn.gov/guardian-ad-litem/images/GAL%2520Rules.pdf

I fully support A Call to Action, and encourage any other parent or concerned family member that has been affected by the rulings of Ms. Jamie Manning to contact A Call to Action, you are not alone. Your complaint deserves to be heard. And your children deserve to be protected.

A Call to Action:http://parentingabusedkids.wordpress.com/call-to-action-c2a/

Read about the History and Stories Behind A Call to Action at: http://parentingabusedkids.wordpress.com/2009/06/05/maryland-guardiaadlitem/

Contact A Call to Action: VictimsOfManning@Hotmail.com or contact pakcomments@live.com for information on how you can join, updates and events. Please put “A Call to Action” in the header.

- Emily Court/M21

playground

Posted in Abuse Allegations & Documentation, Family Court Injustice, Family Court News | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Call to Action ~ Parents Working Together To Hold GAL Accountable

Found this in a web search…  please pass around and share! Brave parents coming together to raise awareness of an abusive Guardian ad Litem, and working together to raise complaints and hold her accountable. 

CONTACT: Email “Call to Action” at VictimsOfManning@Hotmail.com or contact pakcomments@live.com for information on how you can join, updates and events. Please put “A Call to Action” in the header.

Call to Action ~ Together We Are Stronger (C2A).

Parenting Abused Children created this page due to the overwhelming comments and concerns raised about Hennepin County, 4th Judicial District, Guardian ad Litem, Jamie L. Manning. These comments followed a post, and have continued for several years in which numerous parents reported allegations of misconduct, bias, false reporting, verbal abuse and other violations of the Rules of Conduct by Ms. Manning. The parents have joined together to support each other forming the group “A Call to Action ~ Together We Are Stronger”.

A Call to Action ~ Together We Are Stronger” is a group of concerned parents and family members who are joining together to offer support to victims negatively impacted Jamie Manning, Guardian ad Litem. All of the parents involved have had divorce or custody cases and all experienced an adverse impact on their family, personal lives and most important—the well-being of their children—due to the actions or inactions and recommendations of Ms. Manning.

Serious issues are being raised– involving the care, safety and well-being of our children due to Ms. Manning’s unprofessionalism and reckless disregard to perform the statutory responsibilities of a guardian ad litem (as detailed in Minnesota Statutes Section 518.165). Often, when the parents begin to talk, they find similarities in their experiences with Ms. Manning, and her alleged abuses of power; it is startling to hear people who come from different backgrounds, and who live in different communities, and who have never met before tell almost the exact same story. The damage inflicted on the children is most concerning: that children are not being protected from abuse and harm, that children are suffering severe psychological and physical injury as a result and fit, loving parents are forcibly separated from the children they are trying to protect. The allegations against Ms. Manning indicate a crisis is happening within the Hennepin County Family Court system—immediate action is required to protect children, and to secure help for those children who have already been damaged. And parents who have unfairly lost custody or rights to their children, deserve justice.

Ms. Manning’s actions also undermine the credibility and purpose of the Guardian ad Litem program. The ethical lapses and professional deficiencies of Ms. Manning not only endanger children, and hurt families, but also undermine the public trust in the Hennepin County Guardian ad Litem Program. “A Call to Action” supports the mission and purpose of the Guardian ad Litem Program to advocate for children in court. Many Guardian ad Litems are volunteers, and we applaud how freely they have given their time and dedication to the children they serve. The Guardian ad Litem program was created to protect, advocate and give a voice to vulnerable children; it is a necessary program that, when used properly, truly does work for the best interest of children. In the words of Alan F. Abramowitz (Executive Director, Florida Guardian ad Litem Program),“The Gold Standard for GAL: Standards to inspire and empower volunteers and staff to say, ‘I am for the Child.’..(their) commitment and dedication (is) to ensure children’s voices are heard and children have someone in their corner fighting for them.” “A Call to Action” recognizes the concerns and allegations raised about Ms. Manning do not and should not represent the Guardian ad Litem Program as a whole.

“A Call to Action” is a growing movement that is demanding action to investigate complaints against Ms. Jamie L. Manning, and hold her accountable under the laws and remedies available. The Guardian ad Litem role is defined by statute, (518.165) and guardians operating within the statute are provided immunity. Ms. Manning routinely steps outside that statute and as such, should not be afforded immunity. However, many parents report that attempts to resolve concerns about Ms. Manning, made either by filing a formal complaint with the Program Manager or filing a complaint through the court process, has not resolved the issues, and in some case, have made things worse as they faced retaliation for voicing concerns. “A Call to Action” will not be deterred from our goal to have our complaints heard and the evidence and information presented; and we urge those in a position to help to take seriously the alleged malfeasance, to appoint an independent evaluator on a case by case basis to validate critical information and when we are able to prove our allegations beyond all doubt, to relieve Ms. Manning of her position.

We Need ACTION and NOW IS THE TIME

The safety and well being of our children is our number one priority! Join “A Call to Action ~ Together We Are Stronger” to take part in our growing movement of concerned parents and family members working together to expose Ms. Manning and demand justice for our families.

Email “Call to Action” at VictimsOfManning@Hotmail.com or contact this blog at pakcomments@live.com for information on how you can join, updates and events. Please put “A Call to Action” in the header. Updates will also be included on this page.

“A Call to Action” and PAK respect the wishes of those wanting to remain anonymous, and will not disclose information. Similarly, “A Call to Action” and PAK will maintain the confidentiality and personal information of all those coming forward, unless expressly permitted to disclose or share information. All names and emails will be kept confidential. If you say specifically in your email that it is OK to do so your name and contact info will be shared with only with the Group for news and informational updates. Thanks in advance for your involvement

*** DISCLAIMER ***

This is a joint disclaimer that applies for use of this blog, “Parenting Abused Children” aka “PAK” and the group “A Call to Action ~ Together We Are Stronger” in their participation on this blog.

Parenting Abused Children is in contact with “A Call to Action ~ Together We Are Stronger” and supports their efforts to hold Ms. Manning accountable for her actions by demanding justice through the available legal channels.

PAK and “A Call to Action” acknowledges that as of yet, Ms. Manning has not been formally charged nor convicted of any wrongdoing or criminal act. The information contained within this website is of general nature and intended for information purposes for participants taking part in discussions and projects related to “A Call to Action”. Events may change circumstances or information at any time that may affect the accuracy or completeness of the information presented on PAK or the “A Call to Action” page. PAK and “A Call to Action” has taken reasonable measures to present the content on this page, however, we do not accept responsibility for any loss, expense or liability that you may incur from using or relying on the information sourced from this website, or by contacting “A Call to Action”. Please proceed at your own risk and discretion. This blog cannot offer legal advise, please consult with a qualified professional with your questions or concerns. The comments and thoughts posted on PAK and the “A Call to Action” page represent the opinions, interests and thoughts of their individual author alone. PAK reserves the right to remove comments that may be offensive, abusive or otherwise inappropriate.

Posted in Family Court Injustice, Family Court News | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Everything I Love is Gone: Theola Nealy v. Peter Nelsen (Mother Loses Custody after Impregnated by Social Worker)

                       “Everything that I love is gone,” -Theola Nealy, mother,                       interview with Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, 8/27/2009.

Peter J. Nelsen is a former Wisconsin social worker who coerced a vulnerable client, Theola Nealy, into having sex with him. According to Nealy, she did not want to have sex and she only agreed to sex with Nelsen after he promised that he could prevent the state from taking her two children. In conflicting interviews, Nelsen claims the relationship was “inappropriate”, and but that he was “kind and decent” to Nealy. When Nealy became pregnant, she claims that Nelsen pressured her into having an abortion—she refused and gave birth to a daughter in August 2008. After the birth of her daughter, Nealy allowed Nelsen to visit the baby but there were often fights, and Nealy claims that Nelsen would take the baby and refuse to bring her back. In August 2009, Nealy filed and received a retraining order against Nelsen. Nelsen then filed for sole custody of the child and won.

Nealy is now suing the State of Wisconsin, Nelsen and BMCW for damages; alleging that Nelsen was acting within the scope of his employment as a social worker when he forced her to have sex. Reported on 9/24, a  federal jury found the State of Wisconsin is not financially liable for Nelsen. The jury must now decide how much to award Nealy, she is seeking $15 million dollars in damages. The case is being tried before U.S. District Judge Charles Clevert (federal court).

Peter John Nelsen, Milwaukee Journal Sentinel

Peter Nelsen has not been criminally charged because the District Attorney’s Office says the sexual reltionship was consensual. However, according to Wisconsin la,”Minors, persons suffering from mental illness or defect, and sleeping or unconscious persons are presumed unable to give consent. Failure to resist does not indicate consent.” Section 940.225 (4). Nealy has been diagnosed with mental illness. According to the Journal Sentinel (http://www.jsonline.com/news/milwaukee/55560152.html), Nealy provided them a copy of a court-ordered psych eval from 2008 showing that she suffers from anxiety disorder and obsessive-compulsive personality disorder with schizoid, paranoid and narcissistic features. According to court records, Nealy has been referred to the Bureau of Milwaukee Child Welfare (BMCW) more than 10 times. Her parental rights to a son were terminated in June 2006. So what is it? Either Nealy is mentally ill and Nelsen should be charged with sexual assault under Statue 940.225 (4) OR Nealy is not impaired, able to give consent, and is entitled to custody and/or visitation with her children.

Nelsen has not been formally investigated for other possible abuses while working as a social worker. There are also allegations that Nelsen would never had been held accountable by BMCW if the story had not hit the media, and public attention was drawn to it. According to the Journal Sentinel, “Under state law, the bureau was required to report Nelsen to the Department of Regulation and Licensing, but it failed to do so until contacted by the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel. (http://www.jsonline.com/news/crime/woman-seeks-damages-from-caseworker-who-fathered-her-child-b99357097z1-276398261.html?utm_content=buffer549b7&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer)

Nelsen continues to live in Milwaukee with his girlfriend of 16 years, Donna, and is raising two children (one fathered with Nealy). Nelsen is working as a janitor but is actively seeking employment where he can “use my strong interpersonal skills and expertise in the social service field”. (http://www.resumebucket.com/Peternelsen)

Scary thought that Nelsen could be working in a job or position closely related to social services, in close contact and having authority over another vulnerable woman and her family. It could happen, because in 2010, Nelsen worked at Reversing the Trend LLC, “Quality Assurance/Trainer: Ensure the development and coordination of all programs are in compliance with the terms of the Department of Children & Families contract. Monitor and facilitate the timely and accuracy of case notes into the Case Management System. Implement child welfare specific curriculum with regards to supervised visits. Conduct in-house trainings, and distribution of appropriate materials.” (http://www.resumebucket.com/Peternelsen)  Nelsen is willing to relocate to find a better job…in my opinion, hell would be the best place for him.

Nelsen also enjoys spending time on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/peter.nelsen1

Joining groups that include: Be a Voice for Children, , Protecting Milwaukee’s KidsSTOP THE BULLYING IN SCHOOLS !

Be a Voice for the Children is a page to stop child sexual abuse and support survivors.

The Description for Protecting Milwaukee’s Kids says: “Milwaukee’s abused and neglected children deserve qualified, certified social workers.” 

Stop Bullying in Schools is a page to raise awareness about bullying.

Peter Nelsen Former Social Worker at Bureau of Milwaukee Child Welfare Resigned After Impregnating a Vulnerable Client

Peter Nelsen Former Social Worker at Bureau of Milwaukee Child Welfare (facebook)

That Nelsen is interacting with these professionals on facebook, and seeking this type of employment is alarming and shows he has little-if any-remorse for his actions. Peter Nelsen preyed upon a vulnerable woman, who felt powerless and afraid of him a social worker, who could take custody of her children. He was also 25 years older than Nealy. Nelsen’s resume shows has years of experience and training in recognizing abuse, preparing family assessments and working with families in a variety of settings. There is no doubt Nelsen not only knew what he was doing was wrong—but he knew what kind of victim to target, who would be not only vulnerable but unable to fight back—mentally, physically and even legally. This was not a consensual relationship. In my opinion, Nelsen acted with predatory behavior, and if this is not considered rape or sexual assault–then it is in the very least, a form of sexual abuse. A person like Nelsen who received sexual gratification from taking advantage of someone who is vulnerable is a danger and should not be given sole custody of any child–let alone a child who was conceived in a sexually abusive (and emotionally/psychologically abusive) relationship. Nelsen should be criminally charged because his actions are criminal, and the public needs to be protected from him.

Theola Nealy, Milwaukee Journal Sentinel

Even if Theola Nealy wins millions, it will never be enough to ease the loss of her children or to replace them in her life. I applaud Nealy’s courage to publicly speak out and fight for her children. I don’t know all the details of Nealy’s situation, but I know there has to be a better way than what was done to her and her children. This is clearly is a mother who loves her children, who is invested in them and if the situation truly is that she cannot have her children living in her home, she at least deserves a chance to have regular visits or some kind of regular contact.

– Emily Court

BACKGROUND

Between 1997-2009, Peter Nelsen was a social worker employed by the Bureau of Milwaukee Child Welfare (BMCW). Until September 30, 2009, Nelsen was certified as a clinical social worker through a state examining board.

In July 2007, Nelsen was assigned to Theola Nealy’s case after a child abuse allegation involving her two children was reported to BMCW. Nelsen investigated, and concluded the allegation was unsubstantiated. When a second allegation was made in August 2007, another social worker was assigned to the case but Nelsen told Nealy he had taken over the case.

Nelsen found the second allegation to also be unsubstantiated but did not tell Nealy that. Nelsen began to visit Nealy’s home frequently, every week then appearing on a daily basis. The visits lasted about an hour, and Nelsen’s questions and behavior became increasingly more intimate towards her. Nealy felt uncomfortable but was too afraid to object because she feared that Nelsen had the power, and would possible, remove her two children from her care if she raised concerns. She alleges that Nelsen displayed his “power” by wearing his BMCW badge prominently around his neck, and telling Nealy he had the power to arrest her. Nelsen also said he could learn anything about Nealy by running her name through a state database.

Nelsen began a sexual relationship with Nealy in September 2007, which he claims was consensual. Nealy says that she was coerced into having sex with Nelsen, this was not a relationship, she did not want to have sex. Nealy says that she engaged in sex with Nelsen only because she feared his power to impact her children’s custody and placement, and she did not want to lose her children. 

Nealy says that when she became pregnant, Nelsen pressured her into having an abortion. Nealy refused and says that within weeks of refusing to have an abortion, December 21, 2007, Milwaukee police and BMCW took Nealy’s two children into state care. It has not been publicly released why the children were taken or under what circumstances.

Nealy gave birth to a daughter in August 2008. Nelsen gained access to the maternity ward by displaying his social worker credentials. Nelsen asked for visits with the child, which Nealy allowed. Nealy was excited to be a mother, prepared a home for her daughter, and wanted to reunite with her 2 other children. Then Nelsen began to take the baby for longer periods of time, and allegedly refused to return the child, and then told Nealy she could only visit her daughter if supervised. Nealy and Nelsen remained in contact, and the child was being cared for by both of them at different times (though Nelsen did not publicly state he was the father). At the time there was not a custody order in place.

 

Nelsen began to post pictures of the baby on facebook, and even brought the baby to work. Nelsen made up various stories to anyone who asked about the baby, and denied he was the father. 

In early 2009, Nealy revealed Nelsen’s name as being the father of her daughter to a BMCW supervisor and also to her caseworker. 

In April 2009, Nelsen was put on administrative leave and questioned by BMCW about his relationship with Nealy. BMCW would have terminated Nelsen from the job due to this inappropriate relationship but he resigned before any formal action could be taken against him. The administrative code of ethics that Wisconsin social workers are required to follow strictly forbids sexual contact with clients. The rule states: “A person shall continue to be a client for two years after the termination of professional services.”

After he was fired from his job, Nelsen began to contact the caseworker assigned to Nealy, and allegedly made negative remarks about her. Nelsen allegedly told the caseworker that he would never allow Nealy to have her daughter back.

On August 14, 2009, Nelsen took Nealy and the baby shopping. During the trip, Nealy slipped out of the store with the baby, and called a domestic abuseagency for help. The agency provided Nealy with a cab to a shelter, and helped her to obtain a restraining order against Nelsen.  

On August 17, 2009, Nelsen called Bridgette Linderman of BMCW saying he was “anxious and worried about the location of the baby”. Nelsen and Linderman appear to be facebook friends.

nelsenlind

That same day, a BMCW social worker was assigned to a same day response referral agency who was directed to take the baby, if found, and place the baby in the home of Nelsen. The baby was found with Nealy at her mother’s house and taken into custody, despite the restraining order against Nelsen. When the baby was placed with Nelsen, an emergency detention action was initiated in Milwaukee County Children’s Court.

(With these serious issues raised against both parents, you would think the state would take the child into protective custody and do an investigation to recommend placement…despite the mother’s history, there are serious questions about the fairness of these proceedings, and if other intervention could have been sought before taking away all of Nealy’s children—let alone giving custody to the man who sexually assaulted her.)

The story soon hit the media, and Nealy claims she was harassed and intimidated by BMCW workers who frequently visited her home, and conspired to take her baby and give custody to Nelsen. Nealy also claims that a BMCW supervisor was giving Nelsen advise on how to proceed with child custody of the baby.

On September 23, 2009, the Wisconsin Marriage & Family Therapy, Professional Counseling and Social Work Examining Board revoked Peter Nelsen’s social work license. Nelson also must pay $515 to the Department of Regulation and Licensing for the costs of the investigation and proceedings against him.

September 2014: Nealy’s suit reaches federal court. Nealy is suing for $15 million in damages, alleging Nelsen was acting in the scope of his state employment when he coerced her into a sexual relationship. The case is being tried before U.S. District Judge Charles Clevert.

Reported on 9/24, a  federal jury found the State of Wisconsin is not financially liable for Nelsen. The jury must now decide how much to award Nealy .

Nealy has never been reunited with her children; if she wants to see her youngest daughter, it will have to be on Nelsen’s facebook page. That is not only tragic it is an outrage.

 Read More: 

”Assigned to check abuse, social worker impregnates client” by Crocker Stephenson, Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, 8/27/2009: http://www.jsonline.com/news/milwaukee/55560152.html

 

“Milwaukee clinical Social Worker Peter J. Nelsen loses license for impregnating client” by Psych Crime Reporter, 12/10/2009: http://psychcrimereporter.wordpress.com/2009/12/10/milwaukee-clinical-social-worker-peter-j-nelsen-loses-license-for-impregnating-client/

 

UNITED STATES DISTRICT COURT EASTERN DISTRICT OF WISCONSIN, Nealy v. Wisconsin. Case No. 11-C-0541. Filed 07/29/13. Judge Clevert, U.S. District Judge.

“Woman says she got pregnant by social worker; has child. State representative calls for investigation.” WISN.com, 8/29/2009: http://www.wisn.com/Woman-Says-She-Got-Pregnant-By-Social-Worker-He-Has-Child/8069908

“Woman seeks damages from caseworker who fathered her child” ” by Crocker Stephenson, Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, 0/22/2014: http://www.jsonline.com/news/crime/woman-seeks-damages-from-caseworker-who-fathered-her-child-b99357097z1-276398261.html?utm_content=buffer549b7&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer

 

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AFCC New York Tax Exempt Status Revoked: Raising Questions about the AFCC and Family Court Politics

June 2014: The IRS has revoked the tax exempt status of a the New York Chapter of the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts (AFCC) for failure to comply with federal tax laws. 

According to Guidestar, an organization offering information about non-profit organizations to the public, the New York Chapter of the AFCC:  “This organization has not appeared in IRS records for a number of months and may no longer exist. 

This organization’s exempt status was automatically revoked by the IRS for failure to file a Form 990, 990-EZ, 990-N, or 990-PF for 3 consecutive years. Further investigation and due diligence are warranted.”

 http://www.guidestar.org/organizations/20-0212909/new-york-chapter-afcc.aspx

The IRS Form 990 is a tax form that most tax-exempt organizations must file every year. Form 990 provides the IRS with information about the organization’s activities, governance and detailed financial information. Form 990 helps to qualify an organization for tax exempt status. It has not been explained why the New York Chapter of the AFCC has failed to file this document. Non-profits are required to hold regular meetings, and finances are often discussed at these meetings. Non-profits commonly have grant writers, accountants, and financial committees as part of their organization. That the New York Chapter of the AFCC would fail to file Form 990 for 3 years in a row is so unusual that it demands further investigation. 

The New York Chapter of the AFCC is a charitable organization that was founded in 2002 and has about 180 members. The AFCC is an organization founded and operated by sitting family court judges and the professionals they work with including lawyers, court administrators and personnel, mental health professionals, mediators, visitation expeditors (etc) . The purpose of the AFCC is to bring these professionals together to improve family court for children and families, especially families in conflict. According to the New York Chapter of the AFCC, “AFCC members are the leading practitioners, researchers, teachers and policymakers in the family court arena…” The AFCC influences family court policies, procedures and even influences new legislation in areas like shared parenting, parental alienation awareness, child custody evaluations and more. The AFCC also offers continuing education classes for these professionals.

The AFCC is a very powerful and politically connected organization, that operates internationally. The Let’s Get Honest blog says about the AFCC, “..it’s a trade organization with a particular ideology on the field of divorce and family.  Not everyone shares this ideology — nor should the courts be forced to share it.  However, if training and credentialing controls who gets to practice, that’s virtually a private control of public courts…” 

We should also consider the testimony and complaints of parents victimized by abuses of power and systematic failures in family court–many cite problems with bias and collusion among the Court and its officers. A common complaint is that parents are referred to services like mediation, psychological testing, therapy or supervised visitation by agencies and individuals the Court has a close relationship to, and its officers have a strong bias toward the recommendation of these select professionals. Some parents say when they sought help from a different, outside agency that they faced reprisal or loss of visitation and/or custody. Other parents say the Court officers actively worked to take away the parent’s right to make decisions and forced them to work with service providers they approved of. The service providers have considerable power of the lives of individual families and if there is a dispute, the judge almost always sides with them. Parents were threatened with sanctions, jail, loss of custody, loss of visitation and forced into mental health therapy/testing if they did not comply. Other parents voiced complaints  that when they file complaints against the judge and other court officers or service providers that no action is taken or there is no system to investigate or handle complaints. The collusion within the family court system is real and harms families. That is not to say the AFCC is responsible for this political climate but there is speculation that they may have contributed.

Deborah Beacham (Atlanta), founder of MyAdvocate Center, says, “Maybe these activities don’t rise to the level of a crime. But litigants are bound to perceive misconduct any time judges and the professionals who appear before them go into business together, and those litigants are then court ordered into business relationships with the corporation’s affiliates.”(Read more at http://www.commdiginews.com/life/authorities-take-action-against-company-run-by-ny-family-court-judges-attorneys-19646/#pZH75HfTlCHdyOyY.99)

That the New York Chapter of the AFCC would fail to file such a routine tax document, or have an accountant file for them is so bizarre that it demands further investigation. The Board members of the New York Chapter of the AFCC hold public office or work with the public, the question of possible misconduct extends beyond the AFCC but also into the professional fields in which these Board members practice (family law, family court, psychiatry) etc.

When you read the resumes of the Board Members it is baffling how a group of successful people with high levels of education could simply fail to file this form so vital to their organizationhttp://afccny.org/board-members/

Elaine Kirsch is a founding member and former vice president of the Board of Directors of the New York State Chapter of the AFCC. State records register the New York State Chapter of the AFCC to her home address. According to her Linked in profile, Elaine has “30 years of law practice, including 12 years of corporate law practice”. Elaine attended Harvard law school and McGill University, earning a BA in economics and math.

Steve Abel is a founding member and former president of the Board of Directors of the New York State Chapter of AFCC. Steve’s name and home address is listed as a contact on public non-profit records. Steve is a family attorney and mediator with more than 40 years experience.  http://www.taxexemptworld.com/organization.asp?tn=222639

Co-President Judge Jane Pearl (New York County) was appointed to the New York City Family Court bench in 2000 by Mayor Rudolph Giuliani, and in 2009 by Mayor Michael Bloomberg. She is a former Court Attorney ­Referee and Support Magistrate.

Co-President Karen Rosenthal, Esq. specializes in family law and, “has been selected by my peers to be included in the 2013, 2012 edition of The Best Lawyers in America as well as New York Magazine’s New York Area Top Lawyers in 2013, 2012.” Ms. Rosenthal claims, “I have represented, over the years, hundred of clients, submitted at least that many motions, have argued before many Courts…”

Treasurer Teresa Ombres, Esq. is a graduate of Fordham University and New York Law School. Ms. Ombres states, “she is committed to acting like a human being and helping her clients and adversaries to do the same…”

Parliamentarian Alberto Yohananoff specializes in forensic psychology and as been appointed to the Mental Health Professional Panel, First and Second Judicial Department in the State of New York.

Guidestar indicates that there are currently 13 AFCC chapters still in good standing. Authorities have revoked or involuntarily dissolved AFCC chapters in California, New York, Florida, Kansas, and Illinois. The AFCC also members from 20 countries and 6 continents.

For more on story, and other AFCC scandals, plz read “Authorities take action against company run by NY family court judges, attorneys” by Anne Stevenson, Communities Digital News. Thanks Anne for your hard work in vestigative reporting and research!: http://www.commdiginews.com/life/authorities-take-action-against-company-run-by-ny-family-court-judges-attorneys-19646/#pZH75HfTlCHdyOyY.99

The “Let’s Get Honest” blog has also researched the AFCC: http://familycourtmatters.wordpress.com/2013/04/11/afcc-a-users-manual-intro-and-for-now-some-of-arizona/

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Remember Romans 8:28

Emily Court:

Keep fighting…

Originally posted on The Abuse Expose' with Secret Angel:

Sometimes we just need to remember this scripture…

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28

For what we see around us…

as the turmoil seems to twirl.

Is not what we will end up with…

when we overcome this world.

View original 138 more words

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