Independence Day by Martina McBride: Song About Domestic Violence

Warning- video may be triggering to anyone who has experienced abuse, contains scenes of violence and flashbacks of abuse.

It’s Independence Day! 

Yes, that means YOU!! You don’t have to put up with abuse, disrespect or be treated poorly. You may not have the power to change a corrupt court or hold back the hand of an abuser, but you do have power over your own attitude, actions, and choices…and that is MIGHTY indeed! Your freedom begins the day you say NO! to abuse in any form.

Take back your life. Get help and/or support to safely leave the situation, and rebuild your life. If in fear of safety, contact a battered women’s shelter or abuse organization for safety planning. You don’t have to live in fear of your life. Or work with a boss who mistreats you. Or be a part of a church that shames you. Say NO to abuse in any form, you deserve better!

Take back your mind. Start to read positive affirmations, listen to positive music or watch movies that make you laugh/uplift you. Fill your mind with positive messages and your body will begin to respond, and heal. Join a support group. Start to enjoy the hobbies or activities you once enjoyed but stopped due to the abuse. Seek therapy, counseling or help from an abuse support group.

By seeking help, and taking steps to replace negative messages with positive ones, will increase your self-esteem, and better be able to discern abusive or unsafe people so you can protect yourself.

Surround yourself with positive, support people or find places of support (therapy, support group, DV education, grief group, healing circle, church/spiritual support etc). You have the ability to do so many great things….it all starts with one choice, one step..and then another…and another. I Believe in You!

It’s YOUR Independence Day!

xo Emily Court xo

Some Crisis Numbers That May Help:

Child Help National Child Abuse Hotline: http://www.childhelp.org/pages/hotline-home or  1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453)

The National Domestic Violence Hotline: http://www.thehotline.org/ or, 1-800-799-7233 or TTY 1-899-787-3224

The National Domestic Violence Hotline, Help for Abusive Partners: http://www.thehotline.org/help/for-abusive-partners/

National Runaway Safeline: http://www.1800runaway.org/ or 1-800-786-2929 (Runaway)

Safe Horizon: Moving Victims of Violence from Crisis to Confidence: http://www.safehorizon.org/page/call-our-hotlines-9.html

Safe Horizon’s Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-621-HOPE (4673)

Safe Horizon’s Rape, Sexual Assault & Incest Hotline: 1-212-227-3000

TDD phone number for all hotlines: 1-866-604-5350

A Long Walk Home (Healing Activities for Abuse Survivors) http://www.alongwalkhome.org/resources.php

Independence Day” (1994) is a song written by Gretchen Peters and sung by country music star, Martina McBride.  The video for “Independence Day” ranked #2 in CMT’s 100 Greatest Songs of Country Music. And Gretchen Peters received a CMA award for Song for the Year in 1994 for “Independence Day”.

The highly intense, emotional video for “Independence Day” tells the story of a family dealing with domestic violence from the eyes of an 8 year old little girl. The little girl has taken the role to comfort her Mother after she was beaten, she is so hyper vigilant of abuse that she cannot enjoy normal events (like a parade featured in the video, the site of two clowns play fighting triggers memories of her parents fighting, and she has flashbacks). The family is living in a small town, and everyone is aware of the abuse but does nothing to help.

On Independence Day, the violence in the home escalates.  The Mother cannot take any more abuse and lights the home on fire. Martina says the Mother does not die in the fire, she has just gained her freedom from abuse, the lyrics sing, “Now I ain’t sayin’ it’s right or it’s wrong, But maybe it’s the only way…” The video ends with the home going down in flames and the little girl being taken to the county home. The last scene shown is of Martina leaning against a brick wall with a flag waving, indicating independence from abuse.

Now if the abuser has told everyone you are crazy, an unfit mother and labelled you with all these references to what a terrible person you are…you would think the abuser’s testimony would work to prove the insanity defense for the Mother. ..Maybe be reaching, but just a thought. Would make an interesting thriller/novel!

(This post does not mean it’s okay to take revenge on anyone, or that’s okay to become violent! This is just a commentary on “Independence Day” by Martina McBride. If you need help coping with an abusive relationship, seek professional help. Or, if you are struggling with thoughts of violence, seek professional help immediately. If in immediate danger dial 911.)

Wikipedia (Independence Day, Martina McBride Song): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Independence_Day_(Martina_McBride_song)

Lyrics Independence Day, AZ Lyrics: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/martinamcbride/independenceday.html

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About Emily Court

It takes "Just Us" To Fight Injustice in Family Court. I blog to raise awareness about problems existing in the family court system, and use my own story as a personal example of how the systemic failures in family court, and the Guardian ad Litem Program, affect families, in an effort to encourage needed reform. "Emily Court" is a survivor of domestic violence and homelessness working to create a better life for her children, in a stable home free of violence. In her efforts to rebuild her life, she has not only encountered harassment and intimidation from her alleged abuser but faced systematic failures in family court that have empowered her alleged abuser and put her children at risk. Emily is fighting to keep her kids safe, and bring them home. Through writing and blogging, Emily is working to raise awareness about domestic violence, and the urgent need for family court reform. She is currently working on a memoir titled "'Til Prayers Are Answered".
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5 Responses to Independence Day by Martina McBride: Song About Domestic Violence

  1. crtruelove says:

    Reblogged this on Truelove Homes and commented:
    I just posted Martina McBrides’ Independence Day link on Truelove Homes’ facebook wall.

    You determine when the bell of freedom rings. Maybe it’s time to talk about your revolution by first, establishing a well thought out and prayed over safety plan. Truelove Homes can help!

  2. rach356 says:

    You talk about getting away from abusive situations, and I love that you help people to recognize that a boss can be abusive or a church group, etc. I have a friend who was best friends with another woman that was extremely manipulative and emotionally abusive. I saw how my friend changed. I saw how her voice became quieter and quieter. Eventually she took back her life, but it took over a year for her to recover and she still has “flashbacks”. I know it sounds trivial in comparison to others, but it was really painful for my friend to realize she was being abused. Thank you for these words of comfort.

    • Emily Court says:

      Thanks Rachel, you bring up a good point!

      I had a very abusive female boss. I stuck with the job so long because I needed the money for my family but also because, as an abusive survivor, I was used to putting up with abusive behavior. My boss was so extreme–one time she got mad about something I was wearing then pulled up her shirt, and flashed me, showing her bra. She would throw a party for the company, ask me to write up the invites, but not invite me. One time she threw a bag of donuts at me because I wasn’t fast enough. Many people before me quit or left the job. She must have had a record in the unemployment office. Everyone in the business world knew how abusive she is, no one wanted to work with her. And yet I stayed. Until it got so bad I had to leave or risk losing my own sanity.

      What I learned is that as abuse survivors we may be away from the abuse but to rebuild our lives, we have to learn to recognize what is abuse and what is safe behavior. Abuse survivors are so used to abuse, and compromising our own best interest that they may have to learn things like safe boundaries, how to be assertive, how to speak up for yourself. If you find yourself making a compromise or putting up or trying to fix things that’s a problem!! As an abuse survivor it is courageous to leave the abuse..but the healing is not only about breaking away, it is about rebuilding you from the inside out. It’s about recognizing your own beauty and worth. It’s about saying “no” to abuse in any form–and building the life you really want, not one forced on you. Healing is not just one step but many small steps leading you to a better place. My love and support goes out to all those healing and rebuilding. xo

      • Emily Court says:

        How to deal with workplace bullying and how to tackle bullying at work: http://www.bullyonline.org/action/action.htm

        About: Bullying takes place behind closed doors with no witnesses and no evidence (in the traditional sense). When called to account, the bully uses charm and their Jekyll and Hyde nature to lie convincingly. Bullies are clever, but you can be clever too. Here’s how to deal with bullying at work…

  3. Abbie says:

    Blasted this song after my divorce. It’s Independance Day!!!!

Comments are welcome on FCI. We appreciated thoughtful and respectful comments/feedback that offers a variety of views. Any view or opinion represented in the blog comments are personal and belong to the respective commentor. This blogger reserves the right to moderate comments for suitability and may remove or edit comments that contain abusive or offensive language, images, links or accusations. Comments may also be removed if they contain personal information, identifying information or sensitive details about your location, case, minor children, those involved in your case. Please do not post full articles from other sites, as it could be a violation of copyright or intellectual property laws. Thanks for visiting!!

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