No More: I Refuse to Be Silent About Abuse, Concerns with Safety

Picture Quote: Effects of Abuse on Children

How is it in the “best interest” of the children to become alienated from one parent, and forced to live in an dysfunctional environment that has been proven to be unsafe? I refuse to be silent about abuse, and concerns with the safety and well-being of my children any longer.

There is no legal recourse in the family court because it is so corrupt, and laws are easily broken. I feel I have no other choice than to go public with my story and hold the courts accountable in the public domain. 

This is what the Hennepin County Family Court, and its judges (Aldrich, Redding, Bernharson and Robben)  and GAL Jamie Manning have done to my family…

My children are victims of abuse, and have witnessed domestic violence. Both children suffer from serious emotional and behavioral problems, and have been previously diagnosed with PTSD and anxiety, consistent with abuse.  An unjust family court ruling in Hennepin County has stripped me of custody and awarded SOLE custody to the identified abuser.

The abuser, Martin H, is carrying on a strange relationship with a first cousin Lisa Michele A (who he calls ‘Baby Lisa’), who has wrongly assumed a role in my children’s lives as their mother. CPS and court records show Lisa has abused and neglected my children on several documented occasions… yet the Courts continue to protect the identified abuser, and punish the parent seeking to protect the children from harm.

Lisa aka “Baby Lisa” ran away from home at age 17, not even graduated from high school to begin a relationship with Martin. Lisa had connected with an older, first cousin, Martin, who was then 42 years old. The two had been writing letters extensively that were intimate in nature, and carried on long phone conversations (to get an idea of the depth of their conversations, the phone bill was then $1,000! Back then, cell phones were not unlimited). Martin would hole himself up in the bedroom to talk with Lisa and completely neglect the kids. He also made several trips to her home in Milwaukee. Martin and Lisa discussed ways to avoid detection from her mother Judy who initially did not approve of their relationship and was concerned when they began to say “I love you to each other” (as the letters detail). The pair made plans for Lisa to run away, so that they could live together (as the letter says) “in love together, forever“. Letters also show that Lisa refers to Martin as “sexy” and refers to him as “hun” and “baby“. Martin responds to Lisa that “you make me the luckiest man in the world“. Is this the way first cousins speak to each other?? And Hennepin County Family Court Services, 4 separate judges and GAL Jamie Manning think this relationship is absolutely normal and poses no risk of emotional harm, or other harm, to the children!

The A family has a multi-generational history of abuse and alcoholism, and is very dysfunctional. The A/H family – including the parents of both Lisa and Martin – are fully aware of what is happening between these two but have remained silent, and now are supporting their strange relationship. Lisa  has since bought a house that Martin and my children live in, several cars that Martin has use of (and uses for his business) are also held in her name. In every possible way but legally, they live as husband and wife.

My concern is not what two consenting adults have chosen to do – my concern is the harmful effect this is having on my children, and that I, as a mother, am being forcibly removed from my children’s lives by court order so that my children can live in a toxic, dysfunctional environment . This is not right! My children deserve to have a normal childhood. They deserve to be safe, loved and protected. And should not have to witness this confusing and incestuous relationship. My children have admitted that this relationship troubles them so much that both children admit they block out what is happening and pretend that everything is fine so they can cope (dissociation). 

Martin Hegland

Martin H

Some background – At the time Martin and Lisa began to engage in what Martin calls an “emotional relationship“, I was involved in an 8 year relationship with Martin and had no idea what was going on.  Martin and I had never married, as I would later come to find out that Martin had married an illegal alien in order to get her a green card (another indication of his personality disorder). I was so controlled and conditioned by Martin that I had no ability to ask, or even think for myself. My every day life was like a fog, the pinpricks of light that shone through were darkened as I walked on egg shells, trying to guess his moods.. trying to guess if today was a good day or not. My children were also physically and emotionally abused, and subject to Martin’s manipulation and control tactics.

I grew suspicious when Martin’s behavior began to change in a way I had never seen before. He began wearing the cologne that he wore when he met me (I was then barely 18 years old, and recently graduated from high school, see the pattern!). Martin tried to squeeze into jeans he wore when he met me, and when they did not fit, he began running on a treadmill trying to lose weight (with Lisa encouraging him). These were jeans Martin had not worn in years (Lisa said they looked “sexy” on him). The house was under construction and did not have a door (a blanket was used) then, suddenly, Martin installed a door and would retreat into his room for hours, lock the door so we could not disturb him, and was very secretive. I could also feel Martin’s intense anger towards me, it was like I was being invisibly punched. I could feel that he did not want me around, and that something had changed between us.. which was worse than usual.

My relationship with Martin was abusive and controlling from the beginning – more emotionally and psychologically abusive, and there was also sexual abuse involved (and incidents of physical harm). When Martin began his affair with Lisa he became more aggressive towards me, and things were escalating into physical abuse. It was very clear that he did not want me around because I was in the way of his relationship with Lisa. He wrote letters to her stating he wanted “get rid of” me and “things will be so much better when she is not around“. Also concerning, Martin was telling neighbors and friends that I had broken up with him, and that I was going away… none of which was true. I do not know what Martin was planning to do but his actions left me in fear for my safety.

The relationship between Martin and I ended with an incident of physical abuse and resulted in the children and I becoming homeless in our escape to safety. While the children and I were homeless, Martin moved Lisa into our home, and has been in a relationship with her ever since. Lisa was just 17 at the time and left her home, her high school and friends to live in Minnesota; she graduated from a local high school and then entered the healthcare/nursing field. I do not understand how someone so damaged can seek to heal others when she, in my **opinion** is need of healing , herself. Martin says nothing is going on with Lisa and it is “just an emotional relationship“. Even if that is true, an “emotional relationship” should involve growth. Yet, in my **opinion** Martin has been unable to move on… and is putting the well-being of the children at risk to get his needs met in an unhealthy way.

In 2006, Martin instigated a custody battle for the children that has moved from seeking custody of the children to now working to keep the children from me, and force me out of the lives of my own children. He has been successful not because his attorney is good and not because he has a case but because the corrupt, immoral judges and family court professionals in Hennepin County have allowed this to happen for their own benefit (which in my **opinion** is based on greed and a need for personal power, the family court is run like a business profiting at the expense of the families who are destroyed). 

While caring for my children, Lisa has been accused of abuse and neglect on several occasions (documented in court, CPS records). The children are older now, and more able to look out for themselves, so the physical abuse and neglect is not so much an issue but there is an element of emotional harm present in their current environment. Especially because Lisa is is telling people that she is the mother of my children, and taking them to the doctor while pretending to be their mother (documented in medical records). She is also sharing a bed with Martin, and the children have witnessed them in bed together, which has been extremely confusing and upsetting to my children. I brought this issue to the attention to Judge Patrick D. Robben and he not only ignored my concerns but has financially sanctioned me for speaking up about possible harm being done to my children! The Hennepin County Family Court finds an incestuous home with providers who have multiple allegations of child abuse against them preferable to that of a fit, loving mother who can provide a stable life for her children. Family court is “legally insane”! 

It is also distressing to know that Lisa is now providing PCA care for my special needs child when she is the one who has allegedly abused him. I have brought this issue up in court motions, demanding another PCA be provided, and asking for records. Judge Patrick Robben aka “Robben Kids” has not only dismissed my motion but continues to justify and support the position of the identified abuser. 

Documentation showing Martin refers to L. Allis as the

Documentation showing Martin refers to L. Allis as the “live in PCA”. In my **opinion** this is his way of trying to validate the strange relationship has has with his much younger first cousin.

Lisa Allis resume:

“Personal Care Assistant – Kustom Care, LLC

March 2011 – Present (3 years 11 months)B— Park

Helping children with behavioral disorders overcome struggles and hurdles. Assisting them while teaching independance and building confidence.”

Helping Children? Lisa has not only exacerbated my son’s fragile condition but directly contributed to the abuse and neglect of my child. That she is allowed to be his PCA, and being paid for her poor treatment of him is horrific. That a family court has sanctioned this is beyond belief…. but this is really happening.

My son exhibits behavioral and emotional symptoms and is being denied needed assessment and treatment. Martin could not accomplish gaining custody and complete control over my kids, and also my ability to have contact with my children on his own – he is being helped, and enabled, by the Judge “Robben Kids” and GAL Jamie Manning. I cannot fathom why they would condone this but their actions in my **opinion** indicate they both may be sociopaths or people who ruthlessly use and manipulate people for their own advantage. Sociopaths placed in positions of power, such as working in family court or taking judgeship, are extremely dangerous and pose a risk to public safety.

Jamie Manning, Guardian ad Litem

Jamie Manning, Guardian ad Litem

Judge Patrick D Robben

I have ample documentation for everything I state here, including medical reports, police reports, CPS reports and independent comments and drawings from my children. Court records also corroborate statements, and in my **opinion** demonstrate that Judge Robben is an out of control judge. The current custody order is illegal because it does not meet the mandatory minimum for parenting time, and there are no findings to justify such a drastic departure, nor does the court order offer any way to resolve the issue or increase my parenting time. 

Inside the red circle is an image of teeth marks. This is a wound Lisa Allis inflicted on my special needs son. Lisa told the police she needed to bite him to “control” him because he has Aspberger’s (never formally diagnosed). What you see is an imprint of Lisa’s teeth into my son’s neck. CPS then screened out the report.

Judge Robben and Jamie Manning have ignored, denied and made excuses when presented with evidence that my children are being emotionally harmed because Lisa is having a strange relationship with their father, who is also her first cousin. It’s pretty sad when your children are fighting because “Daddy can’t marry Lisa because she is his cousin, and he will go to jail!”. It’s pretty sad when your children are asking when is Lisa going to get a boyfriend or get married. My kids see the other female adults in their life (their teachers, therapists, family members etc) have boyfriends, or get married and have babies, and wonder what is going on in with their dad and cousin. It is confusing to them, and deeply troubling.

You just have to look at the history of Martin to be concerned, again all of this suppressed information suppressed in family court. I was once the 17 year old girl lured off an Internet chat room to meet Martin in person. Martin admitted to me that he was talking to other teenagers online as well but chose me because we share a “special connection“. I later found photographs belonging to Martin that showed him hanging out with other teenage girls at different times in his sad, pathetic life.

I never wanted any relationship with Martin, it was forced on me. All the time Martin said “nothing is going on” and that we are “only friends” … no one knew the nightmare I was living in. This went on for years until I became pregnant with my son, and he could not deny what was happening. The SAME pattern is happening with Lisa, denying an intimate relationship exists, pretending like nothing is happening and ignoring all the red flags. It is not fair to force my kids to live in this unhealthy environment, when they have a safe, loving home available to them.

Expert report documenting abuse and concerns. The report was thrown out by Judge Robben, and Guardian ad Litem Jamie Manning refused to investigate the allegations in the report or contact collateral witnesses.

I love my children, and am more than capable of giving my children a good home. I have taken classes in parenting children with special needs, and have taken classes on parenting children who have experienced trauma or abuse through other organizations. I have always been willing to seek help for my children and my family, and utilize needed resources. I also am an active volunteer in my community, and have experience working with children and vulnerable adults, including adults who suffer with mental illness and behavioral/emotional challenges. I am more than capable of caring for my own children, and giving them a good home life.

If I had discovered that someone in my life hurt my children–as Lisa has–I would be actively working to bring them up on criminal charges. I would also completely remove that person from the lives of my children, getting a restraining order if necessary. Instead, Martin has enabled Lisa’s dysfunctional behavior, and allowed my children to be harmed time and time again.

I was forced out of my children’s lives due to domestic violence and the unjust orders of family court. I will never stop fighting to keep my kids safe and to bring them home. 

— Emily Court, 2015

indigo2

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About Emily Court

It takes "Just Us" To Fight Injustice in Family Court. I blog to raise awareness about problems existing in the family court system, and use my own story as a personal example of how the systemic failures in family court, and the Guardian ad Litem Program, affect families, in an effort to encourage needed reform. "Emily Court" is a survivor of domestic violence and homelessness working to create a better life for her children, in a stable home free of violence. In her efforts to rebuild her life, she has not only encountered harassment and intimidation from her alleged abuser but faced systematic failures in family court that have empowered her alleged abuser and put her children at risk. Emily is fighting to keep her kids safe, and bring them home. Through writing and blogging, Emily is working to raise awareness about domestic violence, and the urgent need for family court reform. She is currently working on a memoir titled "'Til Prayers Are Answered".
This entry was posted in Abuse Allegations & Documentation, Family Court Injustice, Jamie Manning Guardian ad Litem, Judge Robben and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to No More: I Refuse to Be Silent About Abuse, Concerns with Safety

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