The song “Broken Arrow” by Pixie Lott is meant to be a love song but the lyrics remind me of what it is like to be an alienated child, and reminds me of the struggle of a targeted parent trying to maintain a relationship with a child who has been taught to hate or reject them.
“And you’re sitting in the front row,
Wanna be first in line,
Waiting by my window,
Giving me all your time,
You could be my hero,
If only I could let go,
But his love is still in me,
Like a broken arrow…”
The “love” of an abusive or alienated parent is a broken arrow, aimed for the heart. It is a love based on conditions, a love that controls and a love that suffocate the identity of the child.
“He’s the thorn in my flesh
That I can’t take out
He’s stealing my breath..”
The lyrics of this song are strongly suggestive of trauma bonds and the challenges of trying to reconnect to a child or parent after your relationship has been severed or damaged. Often alienated children will also struggle forming trust or relationships with others as well. It does happen that an alienated child will completely reject a parent, and refuse any contact.
“What do you do
When your hearts in two places?
You feel great but you’re torn inside.
You feel love but you just can’t embrace it..”
Sending love and prayers to all families deal with parental alienation, Domestic Violence by Proxy and/or struggle to break free from abuse.
Pixie Lott is an English singer, songwriter and actress. She sings pop and R&B music. “Broken Arrow” was featured in the movie Beastly.
— Emily Court, 2015