Ethics Charge: Judge James W. Palmer Jr. Tries to Avoid Paying Child Support by Pressuring, Intimidating Child Support Officer

CC0 Public Domain Image:

Family Court Judge tries to avoid paying child support by pressuring, and intimidating child support officer now faces a formal complaint, ethics charges. 

(Somerset County, New Jersey: 1/22/2018) – Superior Court Judge James W. Palmer Jr., who sits in the Civil Division in Ocean County, faces ethics charges for allegedly referring to his position as a judge in an attempt to reduce his child support obligation with the Somerset County Probation office that is handling his case.

Judge Palmer is desperately trying to avoid paying child support and is willing to emancipate his child so that he no longer has any financial obligation to her. During the incident, Judge Palmer bitterly complained about the cost of living increase included in child support, implying that he is unable to pay because voters failed to raise his annual salary of $165,000 (that includes tenure).

The formal complaint can be read here: Complaint James W Palmer Jr, Judge of the Superior Court

Judge Palmer is charged with violating the rules of judicial conduct;  of which one of the rules states that judges should “avoid lending the prestige of their office to advance a personal interest.” The violation included name dropping himself as a judge, and exerting pressure when Judge Palmer tried to reduce his child support payment and encourage the emancipation of a child who is the custody of his ex-wife. Should the child be emancipated, Judge Palmer would no longer be legally obligated to pay any child support.

During the incident, which happened on March 21, 2o17, Judge Palmer argued with a caseworker at the Probation for 20 minutes before a supervisor was called to deal with him. Judge Palmer told the supervisor that he objected to a cost of living increase in his child support payment “because you voted that I don’t get a raise.”, complaining about his annual salary of $165,000 (that includes tenure). 

By law, Judge Palmer will have an opportunity to answer the complaint and then a public hearing will be scheduled. After the hearing the Advisory Committee on Judicial Conduct will recommend to the state Supreme Court what, if any, public discipline should be imposed judge.

Read More: 

Ocean County judge faces ethics charges in his own Family Court case in Somerset County


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Global Citizens Arrest Day, January 3, 2018: Global Effort to Raise Awareness of Family Court, CPS Corruption & Abuse


Join this worldwide effort to raise awareness of the corruption and systemic abuses occurring in family court and CPS.

You can also help by joining the facebook pages, which will provide you with information, updates and ways to participate: 

Facebook: Punished 4 Protecting Advocacy Networking Group

Facebook: Global Citizens Arrest Event

PLEASE SHARE this event with friends and family, and encourage them to not spend any money on January 3, 2018. Also share web links and Global Citizens Arrest Day images on your social media accounts or groups. THANK YOU!!!  

What: January 3, 2018, do not spend any money whatsoever. No shopping, no restaurants, no apps/games, etc and limited internet usage We are putting a STOP to our nation as we know it, for this ONE day!

Mission: To raise awareness of corruption, systemic abuses,  happening in family court and CPS; and the devastating impact of this on families, and children.

Stand united to apply public pressure to the media, court system, and political leaders to listen to the voices of families harmed by family court and urge needed reforms.

Once the Global Citizens Arrest has captured the attention of those in higher power, we will proceed to file and request that our government begin to investigate, audit and ultimately arrest and prosecute of all the judges, guardian ad litems and CPS workers, (etc) who are proven to have been a part of this money-making racket and responsible for putting innocent children in unsafe homes.

Why: A crisis of pandemic proportions is occurring in family court and CPS. Here in America, and across the world, children are being unlawfully taken from fit, loving parents and sent to live in abusive home where they suffer. In effect, children are being “legally kidnapped”.

In family court, dangerous perpetrators of domestic abuse, and child abuse, are being given custody and/or unsupervised access to the children they have victimized. Parents who raise concerns for the child’s safety are not only being punished by the very system that should be protecting the children but are also being unjustly stripped of custody and/or allowed minimal visitation. Other parents are forcibly removed from the lives of their children, never to see them again. When sent to live with an abusive or unfit parent by court order, the children are re-abused and re-traumatized; and suffer for the rest of their lives.

The Child Protective system has been dubbed “Child Predator Services” because children are being further abused when placed into homes or institutions where they are abused, neglected, and even murdered. Other children have been used for medical experiments, and subjected to being heavily medicated on powerful psychotropic medications either without need, or without being given proper treatment. An alarming number of children go missing from state care, never to be seen again. Other children run away from state care and then become victims of exploitation and human trafficking. Other children are adopted out for profit, permanently removed from families.

Parents have little or no recourse to assert their rights or protect their children because the system works against them, destroying families. Thousands of public servants known as family court and juvenile judges, Guardian ad Litems, social workers and other court professionals abuse their position of authority. They also Break laws, violate civil liberties and Constitutional rights, take advantage of the public, harass and bully parents. The family court and CPS system has become truly lawless, and is responsible for causing significant,and lasting, harm to families and children.

We must continue to unite and fight this corruption for the sake of the next generations.

These systemic abuses in family court and CPS have gone on for way too long, as you know. The only way a change will be made, will be to apply public pressure and demand accountability, and that is what we intend to do with the Global Citizen’s Arrest on  January 3, 2018.

Be a Part of this Historic Event! Please Join: 

Facebook: Punished 4 Protecting Advocacy Networking Group

Facebook: Global Citizens Arrest Event



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Lydia Fairchild: Rare Medical Condition Almost Caused Her to Lose Kids, Be Charged with Crime

I am publishing the story of Lydia Fairchild, and including a link to her story as featured on “Chimera: Twin Inside Me (Medical Documentary) – Real Stories” because it offers a compelling example of a common problem many parents face when dealing with social services or CPS. – And that problem is when CPS rushes to judgement, without having all the facts, then falsely accuses a parent and works to take custody of children, even when it is totally unwarranted.  

Due to an extremely rare medical condition, Lydia Fairchild gained the attention of social services when she applied for public assistance, and was subjected to mandatory DNA testing. It is understandable that an investigation would follow given the test results, that showed no DNA link between Lydia and her three children. However, a volume of medical evidence existed to show that Lydia was in fact pregnant, and gave birth to all of the children.  Lydia’s entire family was DNA tested, and did provide a genetic link to the children. Witness and professional testimony overwhelmingly showed that Lydia is a fit, loving mother and posed no danger to her children. There was ZERO evidence that any crime or fraud had occurred involving Lydia or the children. The father of the children, Jamie Townsend, was also proven to be a safe parent, and capable provider of the children. He also supported Lydia, and vouched that he was present for their births and that Lydia indeed is their mother. In a rush to judgment – involving a complex medical situation that social services had absolutely no understanding of, and was not qualified to assess –  the State fought to take the children into guardianship, creating a nightmare for this family that lasted nearly 2 years.

What was needed here was NOT removal of the children from two safe, loving parents (it is not explained why placement with relatives was not considered) but instead, an answer to the medical condition that could create these DNA results – a deeper look into other possibilities. Instead the State focused on taking the children into guardianship without ever providing an explanation, or offering proof that a crime involving Lydia or the children had occurred, that would warrant such drastic measures. To this day, Lydia suffers from the trauma caused by the State’s actions against her.

While Lydia’s case is exceptional for it’s rare medical diagnosis – similar situations happen with CPS workers around the country rushing to take custody of children in situations where state care is not needed, and in fact, causes real harm to the children and families involved. Too often evidence that would explain the concern, or exonerate accused parents is ignored or dismissed. Too often expert testimony is not utilized – or CPS relies on “in house” professionals that collude with the State in their agenda, and unjustly target parents. Too often parents who seek another professional opinion never have their professional testimony heard or considered because it is perceived that the professional is somehow tainted or unreliable when their opinion contradicts the State.  And not just experts – but community organizations that could offer support or assistance to families are not considered an option. Too often relatives who could care for children, are refused when placement is considered. The results are always tragic for children, and for the entire family involved. 

A valuable lesson is offered in Lydia Fairchild’s case.  Ultimately what saved Lydia and her family from being torn apart was a deputy prosecutor who was willing to think outside the box, and look at other possibilities for what could be causing the DNA results. That is the other reason I am publishing this story, to encourage CPS and professionals who work in the system to look at what almost happened to this family, and why, and learn from this case.


I know that I carried these kids, I know that I gave birth to these kids, to feel like I was the only one in the whole world trying to fight for my kids, and nobody in the world was listening to me…every day I felt like that would be the last day that I would see them..” ~ Lydia Fairchild

(Washington State, 2006) Due to a rare, undetected medical condition, Lydia Fairchild faced not only the threat of CPS taking her four children, but jail as well. The father of the children, Jamie Townsend, was equally frightened that his children would be taken into state custody.

Lydia bravely fought for nearly two years to prove that she is, in fact the biological mother of her own children, and to keep her family together. How could this happen?

In 2002, Lydia Fairchild was a single mother of two children, and pregnant with a third, when she applied for public assistance. As a routine measure, the state DNA tested both Lydia and her boyfriend, Jamie Townsend, to establish parentage. To Lydia’s complete shock, while the DNA tests determined that Jamie is the father, the tests also revealed that Lydia has did not share a DNA match with her children. Lydia was adamant the children were hers but now was facing suspicion from social services, and a Prosecutor’s office ready to charge her with a litany of crimes – welfare fraud, identity theft, abduction and that Lydia was acting as a surrogate, bearing children for money. Jamie was even accused of fathering the children with another woman. Three DNA tests later, and children traumatized by the invasive procedures, the DNA tests all concluded the same – Lydia could not be the biological mother of the three children she gave birth to.

Lydia was supported by her family, including her mother who was present during the births. Jamie, who was also present at the birth of the children, told social services that there could be no other mother of the children than Lydia. He objected to the state taking guardianship of the children, claiming that Lydia “is a good mom”. Lydia’s obstetrician Dr Leonard Dreisbach, who had cared for her during pregnancy, and witnessed the birth of her children, attested that she is the biological mother. Medical records, including foot prints taken of the children after birth, confirmed that Lydia was indeed pregnant and gave birth to all of the children The state was so suspicious of Lydia that when she gave birth to her third child, a court officer stood in the room to witness the birth. A DNA test was immediately taken between mother and child. Again, the DNA test revealed that Lydia did not share DNA with her newborn.

Lydia was panicked as court proceedings continued, and the threat of losing her children grew closer every day…

In another part of the country, another woman named Karen Keegan from Boston was facing the same bizarre situation: testing for a kidney transplant revealed that her DNA did not match that of her children. Seeking answers, Keegan submitted herself to comprehensive medical research and testing. After taking multiple samples of Keegan’s tissues, it was discovered that her body contained two distinct genetic codes. Karen was a chimera – a rare medical condition that results when a fraternal twin is absorbed in the womb during the first weeks of pregnancy. This is commonly described as “I Am My Own Twin”. 

A chimera is a single person made up of cells from two different people. Chimerism results after two fertilized eggs fuse, creating two distinct set of cells, two separate strands of DNA to create a single embryo. As the embryo grows some cells become become organs, others become blood, tissue or bone – which cells have which twin’s DNA is totally random. In other words, the genetic material of twin that does not survive pregnancy microscopically lives inside the body of the other twin. Conducting a DNA test on a chimera is complicated as two sets of DNA can be detected in the body, but genes are not uniformly distributed and secondary genes are often found in certain organs, and areas of the body, and not others. 

I want to state strongly that Chimerism does not make a person less of a mother (or father) – the biological connection to the child exists, as does the emotional, spiritual and familial bond.

When Karen Keegans’s case was published in a medical journal (2002), the answers to her medical mystery were discovered by one of deputy prosecutors working on Lydia’s case… it’s profound impact would shape the future of this family…

Read the Full Story Here:

ABC News: She’s Her Own Twin

Pregnancy No Proof of Motherhood; Woman Was Her Own Twin-and the Twin Was the Mother of Her Children (Graham Noble)


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“I Will Never Recover from This”: Quote from Mother Who Unjustly Lost Custody of Children in Family Court

Picture quote based on a comment from Frances, a mother and victim of family court.

Frances lost custody of two infants after informing the family court that her ex had been previously investigated for sexual abuse, and that his mother considered him to be a “sexual predator”.

The full comment reads:

I’m still in shock & disbelief that my spouse & his attorneys took my two infants two years ago….never to be seen by me again.

The family court judge didn’t believe i was disabled. When giving birth to my youngest infant, an aneurysm ruptured in my brain. I was denied disability aid in the court although I could have easily provided proof of my disability.

I also let the court know that my spouse had been investigated for sexual abuse as a minor. His mother told me he was a “sexual predator”. Fearing a subpoena she filed a doctor’s note saying she was to feeble to go to court. That note was kept in a sealed envelope. She wasn’t too feeble however, to leave the state with my spouse & babies.

It was considered abusive that I had filed the info with the court that he had been investigated. I fought the hardest fight..there was no psych eval (and) my parental rights were not terminated. I was accused of contempt for denying his visitation. Ordered to meet at a substation to bring him our babies. I thought he would have them for a couple days. That was the last time i saw, kissed, smelled, touched or heard them.

I was the joke of the court room having no attorney myself. His attorney was impossible to serve and i didn’t know were he lived. Its been over 2 years and a few months ago my sister in law messaged me that he, his parents and our babies had just shown outta out of state moving van n all. ….

Best interest of the child? How does this happen? The babies lived with me, their big brother & my ex who helped raise them. Gone torn away overnight. Im alone now. My ex took my teenage son and moved away. They couldn’t process what had happened or the unimaginable pain I was in. Imagine the psych. trauma they suffered. We went from singing twinkle twinkle on the porch before bedtime..holding them in our arms looking at the stars… We will never recover from this. Time cant be replaced. Not that the court is attempting to remedy this. Brush it under the table..after all its in “best interest of the child” right?

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The Turkey at the Window: A Thanksgiving Fable (Grief, Child Loss & Alienation)

Source: – The image is released free of copyrights under Creative Commons CC0.

This story is dedicated to all the parents separated from their precious children on Thanksgiving. And dedicated to to all the children who are being denied the love and care they deserve from a parent due to an unjust court order, or due to an abusive or alienating parent.

Summary: A curious turkey who peers into the window of a farmhouse on Thanksgiving Day, wondering what the holiday is about. The turkey is startled to discover the mother living in the farmhouse is not celebrating Thanksgiving but rather, grieving the loss of her children. This leads the turkey to a startling revelation about the human world, and what he is thankful for. 

Inspiration: This story is based on a touching article describing the care and nurturing a mother turkey (hen) provides her young: A Mother Turkey and Her Young – “Their Kind and Careful Parent”

I also used as a source: NWTF: Wild Turkey Lifestyle & Breeding

This story is also based on my own horrific experiences with the family “injustice” system, and the pain I being kept away from my children, due to an abusive ex, on Thanksgiving.

This Thanksgiving, I am thankful that I am not as evil as Judge Patrick D. Robben in Hennepin County. I may have lost custody of my children but I have not lost my heart, or my integrity. Judge Robben has not only alienated my children from me with an illegal, and unjust court order, he also REFUSES to grant me any parenting time on any holiday. Instead, Judge Robben has court ordered me to beg and plead with my abuser just to spend time with my children. Which has caused me unending emotional distress, and subjected me (and the children) to further emotional and psychological abuse.

Due to Judge Robben’s disgusting court order, I spent the last 3 weeks begging the abuser, Martin Hegland, for a visit with my children on Thanksgiving. NO parent should have to beg, or file a court order just to see their children and be a part of their lives – that is abusive. I just wanted some time to be together with my children on Thanksgiving – it did not have to be on the actual holiday – I was willing to take anything. Martin will not allow a visit. He is forcing my kids to pretend to be happy, and play into this fantasy of a “perfect family” when their hearts are breaking.

I don’t know where my children are this Thanksgiving. I won’t be able to serve them my special dish – sweet potato casserole. I won’t be able to take them to church. I won’t be able to hear their sweet voices share what they are thankful for. Or take them to visit family.

Wherever Martin has brought my children, and whoever he is spending it with… just know that these two children have a mother who loves them with every breath in her body, every fiber of her being, and this mother is grieving their loss on Thanksgiving.

This Thanksgiving, I am thankful that I had the courage to leave an abusive relationship of 8 years, and thankful for this second chance at life. I will never stop fighting to keep my children safe, and to bring them home.


Source: – public domain clip art

A wild turkey ventures close to an old farmhouse bordering his woodland range. He looks into a kitchen window on Thanksgiving day: strangely, the lights are turned off, the oven is cold. A whimpering cry can be heard from another room, curious the turkey draws closer…

Mama Hen warns, with several high-pitched notes: Putt, putt, putt. Do not get too close to the farm. Under the deep curve of her wing, I am safe.

What is there to be thankful about on Thanksgiving for a Turkey?

Curious birds, turkeys are. So Thanksgiving day, I leave my woodland home. Flying over split-rail fence, I land onto gravel road leading to the farm. I shrug off Mama Hen’s warning as I near.

Thanksgiving – what is this holiday that brings man and bird together?

Mother Hen said I am too young to understand. Hah! Admire my tail fan, brown and black feathers growing long. A red-orange round bumps protrudes my from skinny leg, this spur marks my growth into a real tom. Soon a crown will grow on top of my bald head, the color of a blue sky, and I will fight for my place in the pecking order.

The farm is strangely quiet, for a day all turkeys fear – Thanksgiving. I puff my feathers to menacing height, a tactic that works against most predators. In the distance, blinking red and blue lights travel farther down the gravel road and out of sight.

No humans in sight. I stride to the barn. Old rooster crows in protest. Cows moo low and long, begging to be fed. Snow begins to fall on scraggly grass.

I cross the yard to peer into the windows of the old farmhouse. The kitchen is dark, counter tops bare. A strange white “tree” in the corner of the kitchen has colorful “leaves” that grow out of it. On one of the leaves is the picture of a smiling human “poult” (baby) riding a pony. Another of a human Mama Hen and the poult, swimming at a beach. Did you know that we turkeys can also swim? Not my favorite but sometimes you need to cross a stream or pond in order to reach better foraging grounds. My wondering is startled by wailing heard from another room. This is a sound unlike any other … curious I walk around the farmhouse, seeking another window.

Looking into another window, I see a room dimly lit by a small “sun” hanging from an indoor “sky”. A forest of lifeless stuffed animals is piled in the corner. A bottle scratched with the word “Bubbles” is tipped on its side; a crystalline river seeps across the floor. The human Mama Hen is curled on a perch that is decorated with flowers, her knees to chest. My heart marvels at the golden brown color of her hair- it is the same color as my beloved Mama Hen’s soft brown feathers. The snow accumulates, covering a chaotic trail of human tracks leading from the gravel road and scattering across the yard, and beneath this window. It is growing dark. Mama Hen will be gathering us soon, to roost high in the trees. I ignore instinct as I step closer to the window. The human Mama Hen must sense my presence because then she looks up, tears glisten in her eyes as she stares … through the pane of glass, I stare back.

Very slowly, the human Mama Hen begins to stand. Her legs uncurl, they are strange legs with fuzzy feathers decorated in pink and black stripes. Her claws are also painted a shocking color of pink. She is cautious, not to startle me. I would not run, even if I could. I am transfixed by the sight of her. The human Mama Hen stands just a few feet from the window, her featherless “wings” clutch a square of crumpled “bark”. The “bark” is scratched with the image of two figures, both smiling. A heart is drawn over their oval heads, along with “I Love You Mama”.

Then I understand… A Mama Hen is the center of her young’s world. The moment the egg cracks open, imprinting begins. Mama Hen nurtures and guides her young safely into the world. During the first few weeks of life, the poults sleep on the ground, in the warm embrace of her protective wings. When strong enough, the poults leave the ground to join Mama Hen in tree branches, where she sleeps at night. The bond between Mama Hen and her young forged early in their development is critical to their survival, and remains with them for the rest of their lives.

The sounds made by the human Mama buzzed in my head then came into focus as my own imprinting responded. Though different species, turkey and human, the wailing cry is the same – it is a terrified sound made when the young strays too far from Mama. When the poult responds to her call, Mama Hen runs towards her little one. She gathers the poult close, nuzzling him softly with her beak.

This human Mama Hen was also calling for her lost ones. Her wings flap uselessly, with no poult to cuddle. Though they are lost to her, the human Mama Hen remains connected to the smell, the warmth, the yearning… for her young.

My senses opened in a way never experienced in the wild. The world of the humans is cruel. It destroys the bond between flock. It separates Mama Hen and poults, leaving the young without protection in the harsh world. And leaves a mother to grieve on Thanksgiving Day.

Though the life of a turkey is short, I am thankful to have experienced the deep love of my Mama Hen. Thankful for the belonging, and closeness of the flock. Thankful for the freedom of wild life.

Even the turkey whose life comes to an end on Thanksgiving are more fortunate to have died quickly, than to experience the prolonged suffering a human Mama experiences as the result of the loss of her children. Thanksgiving is a time when family and flock should be together. Instead, Mama is alone, crying in dark, empty rooms. It is unjust, and wrong.

We turkeys understand nature – some survive, some are taken by predators. But there is no predator in the wild that preys upon family, causing trauma, separation. No predator that steals the young from their Mama; who are not returned, even when she calls. Such a vicious predator that feasts on its own flock, and destroys its own family, exists only in the human world and its “pecking order” (the courts, government).

I turned away from the window, troubled in a way I have never felt before. My heart felt cold and heavy like a rock submerged at the bottom of a stream. I raised my break to the frigid November night, to form an urgent sound – an insistent, high pitched yelp. This is the sound we turkeys make to call a scattered flock back together. To call the lost ones back home. I puffed my feathers and I inhaled deeply, my voice rang pure and clear over the woods, down the gravel roads, and into the spreading blue-black horizon of night, urging this Mama’s young home.

In the distance my own Mama Hen responded. I headed into the snowy woodlands, away from the human world, and its injustice.

“Emily Court”, November © 2017


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A Broken Promise: Children Taught to Disclose Abuse Called “Liars” in Family Court

I clearly remember the day, back in 1st grade, when the teacher explained “good touch, bad touch” then instructed the class to tell a “safe person” or go to police if we had been touched in a way that made us feel afraid, or was unsafe. For most of my life I believed what I was told – that if a child discloses abuse they will be believed, that adults will act to protect a child in need. That the job of police and social workers (and the like) is to keep kids safe.

Years later, as an adult, my horrific experiences with family court showed me just the opposite – that disclosing abuse to the authorities is dangerous. In family court, there is great suspicion of those who disclose abuse, they will be called a “liar”, accused of mental illness and even told they are “harming” their child for reporting abuse. In family court, when you disclose physical, sexual, or emotional abuse you risk losing everything – even the child you are trying to protect.

A Broken Promise: Tell a Safe Person

1st Grade – I was a spirited child who colored outside the lines to see how far I could go, and thrived under the creative guidance of my teacher, Mrs. Paris.

I absolutely adored Mrs. Paris – she reminded me of Mom’s vintage Black Barbie doll, Julia. Julia was tall and slender with beautiful, dark skin. Julia’s almond shaped eyes were framed by long, black lashes. Her burgundy colored hair was styled in a Pixie cut. How Mrs. Paris, a Black woman, became a school teacher in a small town settled in a river valley by stern German immigrants who held tight to their religion, and prejudices that were passed down to successive generations, is an accomplishment in itself. I could count all the colored people in town on my one, small hand – to say you were a minority was more than being a smaller number, it mean you were treated differently, and generally not welcome. Mrs. Paris roared into town in her sporty, red Pontiac Fiero, with lots of attitude to give anyone who had a problem with her, and lots of love to give to us children. She was a sight to be seen – wearing long, flowing dresses with bold patterns and colors. Geometric shaped earrings dangled at her lobes. I instantly adored Mrs. Paris, and did my best to behave, even if I was a bit rambunctious.

On the day of the “Good Touch, Bad Touch” lesson, Mrs. Paris instructed the class to sit down on our carpet squares in a circle that contorted with our wriggling bodies that absolutely could not be still. Mrs. Paris walked around the circle, put her finger to her lips and silenced us with a gentle but firm “sssh”. Coloring sheets were handed out to explain “good touch” and “bad touch”. The boys got carried away with “bad touch” and punched each other, falling to the carpet squares with exaggerated moans. Mrs. Paris was having none of that – we needed to be serious, to listen. She pointed again to the paper and slowly explained until the class fell silent.

In my little girl world, Mrs. Paris was my “safe person”. She understood the “bad touches” that no one else in class did, children whose grandparents claimed this land as their own over a hundred years ago, and made all the rules we now follow. Mrs. Paris understood being called the “N” word, and worse. Understood how people move away from you when you went into a store or restaurant. That even when people gave you that stiff, polite smile and let you in they were just tolerating your presence, and not really welcoming you. Sure, there were some that really didn’t see you for the color of your skin, and some that even became friends..but they were few. And the pressures of “being a good person” and “doing the right thing” could even turn someone close to you. I wasn’t bitter – and am not today – it was just how things were. But I saw in Mrs. Paris that you could overcome “the way things are” – and even be successful, and happy, and admired her for that.

As a little girl, I didn’t really understand “bad touches” other than watching Skeletor battle He-Man with a sword. Skeletor was the obvious “bad guy”, that wicked laugh gave him away every time! But I trusted Mrs. Paris when she said if anyone made you afraid, or hurt you, did anything that made you feel uncomfortable, go tell a “safe person” like a police officer, a teacher, your mom and dad. As children we were promised that if we spoke out about abuse that we would be believed, and someone would help us. We were promised that grown-ups care about children, and would protect us. So we colored our “good touch, bad touch” sheets with naive trust.

We Should Have Been Warned

We should have been warned that not all adults listen to children – and that disclosing abuse does not mean you will be believed. That bruises can be covered up. And tears are a sign of weakness.

In family court, parents who disclose abuse, and make efforts to protect children, are labeled as being seriously mentally ill or harming their children.

Parents who abuse their children – beat them bloody, sexually abuse them, scream angry words into their heads until the children hate themselves – are considered model parents in family court.

When allegations of abuse are raised, the abusive parent is considered the victim – it is obvious, the ex is only saying these things because they are mentally ill or trying to gain an advantage in court! So he abuser is given sympathy and legal assistance by the family court system. Coddled by the family court and its judges, a dangerous abuser becomes a monster.

The process is always the same, you hear this happening time and time again from parents involved in family court proceedings, across the globe. After raising an allegation of domestic violence or child abuse, the protective parent is court ordered into psychiatric testing conducted by one of the court’s hired guns. The court appointed expert always detect mental illness, and will diagnose parents over and over with the same problem, one that can never be fixed. A parent who obtains their own testing is simply not credible or a Guardian ad Litem or attorney will over rule the results. Even with no medical experience, a GAL or attorney or court professional is ALWAYS more credible than a parent, and anyone perceived to be supporting them. Psychiatric testing – even if you “pass” the test with no sign of mental illness – is just a step towards having your child unjustly taken from you. The family court goes to great lengths to create a false reality. The protective parent is ordered into unnecessary mental health treatments designed to get them to recant abuse allegations. Or forced into classes to learn how to “co-parent” with an abuser aka shut up and just take it. Parents pay the “court-poration” until they are broke and homeless in a desperate attempt to save their children and their family for attorneys, court fees, GAL fees, unnecessary treatment, supervised visitation, child support etc

And in the end playing by the rules does you no good because there are no rules, or law, in family court.

The abusive, unit parent will be awarded sole custody in proceedings that are not only unjust but cruel. Parents who have lost custody of children to an abusive or unfit parent has a similar story – children being ripped from their arms, screaming. Children being taken by the courts under threats, and against their will. Children being taken by the police who are supposed to protect. Children being taken as the result of an ex-parte hearing where the protective parent is not present, and not able to defend themselves. And the abuse will continue under a false pretense of “justice”.

Only then do you realize that you have been lied to all along.

~ “Emily Court” © 2017

Read More:

Custody in Crisis: How Family Courts Nationwide Put Children in Danger by Laurie Udesky

The Family Court has a serious attitude problem when it comes to domestic violence by Jess Hill

The real life horrors of America’s family court system by James Carter


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Child Survivor of “Reunification” Speaks Out: “I Want to Save Other Children..”

I am posting this story of  about teen, Hannah Mills, to raise awareness of the systemic failures in family court to protect children from abuse. And raise awareness of the horrors of “reunification therapy” imposed on children who are forced into having a “relationship” with an identified abuser.

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MY STORY: I have similar experiences in family court with my children, who are also victims of physical and emotional abuse from their father. The children were not formally entered into a reunification program but the reunification agenda underlined every action of the family court; and caused significant harm to the children, and to my relationship with them as a mother. 

As a result of escaping the abuse, I became homeless with two traumatized children… I could not imagine how much our troubles would escalate when we became involved in family court proceedings. When I bravely spoke out about the abuse, after over 8 years of imposed silence, the family court not only failed to protect my children but assisted the abuser in gaining custody. 

My children also spoke out about the abuse, and displayed emotional and behavior symptoms consistent about abuse. While I fought to get help for my children, and rebuild our lives, free of violence, the family court placed my children back into the danger.

After forcing reunification on my children, they both de-stabilized, and suffered from PTSD, anxiety and other behaviors. While in supervised visitation, both children showed fear and anger towards their abusive father. As a result of the court’s actions, my precious son had a breakdown – at just 6 years old – and required hospitalization. While in the hospital he continued to disclose abuse from his father, even stating “I learned my tantrums from my dad” and recalling his “worst memory” as the time he witnessed his father physically assault me (all documented). My son said he felt “guilty” that he could not protect me… I now feel guilty that I could not do enough to protect him, and his sister, from continued abuse by their father, and the predatory family court.

~ Emily Court, 2017


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(Michigan) Hannah Mills was 15 years when forcibly taken from her mother and court ordered to attend a reunification program in California called Family Bridges.

Hannah recalls witnessing her father physically and verbally abuse her mother, and says tension was high in the home. Hannah was also a target of abuse, and recalls that her father once told her “you are a mistake. CPS was called when Hannah reported that her father deprived her of food as punishment but failed to investigate further because her father didn’t use “sticks or weapons” against her, so his treatment was not considered abuse.

As a freshman in high school, Hannah was so despondent at the thought of visiting her father that she considered suicide and began cutting herself. Her younger brother also struggled with being forced to visit the father. 

Instead of protecting the children, CPS worked to force the children to visit their father – going so far as to make recommendations to the judge that included ordering the mother Candy (Mills) Mezey into community service if the children continued to refuse to see their father. Candy’s efforts to protect her children did result in her being thrown in jail, overnight. Hannah recalls she felt guilty that her mom was in jail, and would do anything to protect her. 

Mother, Mezey was labeled with “parental alienation”. In August 2015 family court judge Judge Matthew Stewart awarded sole custody to ex-husband Kurt Mills. Hannah was taken into “reunification therapy” by a pre-arranged “escort” which caused more trauma, and placed her life at risk…

Hannah has finally escaped her abusive father and is now telling her story in an effort to “save other children”.

Read Full Story Here:Taken from mom, teen flees dad and waits for 18th birthday

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Battered Husband Neil Tweedy Films Wife Abusing Him: Struggles with Aftermath

(Greater Manchester, North West England: September 2017) Neil Tweedy, who endured 12 horrific years of violence and threats at the hands of his wife, Helen, set up hidden cameras in the home to record the abuse over a two month period because he didn’t think police would believe him unless the incidents were recorded. The video footage was used to prosecute Mrs. Tweedy with assault.

Helen Tweedy is accused of smothering, slapping,  swearing, punching and kicking Mr. Tweedy – with much of the violence occurring in front of their daughter, now age 4. Verbal abuse was also a problem. For much of the marriage Mr. Tweedy did not report abuse, due to fear of his wife, and that authorities would not believe him. 

Mrs. Tweedy admitted three charges of common assault by beating at Manchester Magistrates Court. Mrs. Tweedy was sentenced to a 12-month community order with 120 hours’ unpaid work and a restraining order prohibiting contact with her husband for 12 months.

Clearly the child’s physical and emotional safety are at risk due to the mother’s abusive behavior. I hope the Court, or another professional agency with the authority to intervene, considers the domestic violence that has occurred in this family, and the effects on the child, seriously and works to protect the child; and offer professional help to this family.

Mr. Tweedy is supportive of his wife having visitation with the child, and has blamed Mrs. Tweedy’s behavior as just being caused by alcohol.

Neil Tweedy with wife Helen CREDIT: CAVENDISH PRESS

Let’s be clear –  alcohol/drug use alone does not, and cannot, cause a person to become a perpetrator of domestic violence; and there is no scientific evidence to show alcohol/drug abuse causes someone to become an abuser. Domestic violence is complex, and involves numerous factors and influences. Domestic violence is defined by a pattern, or history, of using violence, threats and force to gain power and control over another. The need for control fuels domestic violence, not the loss of it.

Alcohol certainly can impair judgment, or contribute to the escalation of violence, but should not be used as an “abuse excuse”. 

According to domestic violence expert, Lundy Bancroft, who has had over 20 years experience working in batterer intervention programs,”Alcohol does not change a person’s fundamental value system. People’s personalities when intoxicated, even though somewhat altered, still bear some relationship to who they are when sober.” (Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men)

Abusers will act violent and controlling towards a partner whether they are drinking or not. A good example of this is my abusive ex, Martin. Martin has a long history of addictive behavior, including abuse of alcohol, street drugs and prescription pain killers. While abusing drugs and alcohol, Martin got into physical fights, had difficulty with family and peers, and got into trouble with the law that lead to criminal charges, and the issuance of a commitment order. I met Martin many years after he stopped abusing drugs and alcohol – but his abuse of me, and the children, began. Martin then became addicted to gambling and pain pills, and the abuse continued. The drugs and alcohol did not cause Martin’s violence towards me and the children, his attitudes, and values did. Domestic violence has also been attributed to being a learned behavior. In Martin’s case this is likely true because there is a long history of physical and emotional abuse in both his mother’s and father’s side of the family, that has occurred alongside alcohol abuse.

Domestic violence can happen to any person, from any background. The impact of domestic violence leaves both a physical and psychological impact on victims, and causes lasting scars. For men, particularly, the experience can be isolating and a source of shame or feeling “less than a man”. It is really sad, to me, that Mr. Tweedy felt he needed to record the abuse – and allow himself to be beaten and humiliated – so that he would be believed, and someone would help him. I am including resources below for men who are victims of abuse  to reach out for help, and assist with safety planning. 

As a survivor, I know how difficult it is to escape abuse and rebuild your life. I can honestly say, that you deserve so much more than to be mistreated or to live in fear everyday. Your children deserve a real childhood where they feel safe and loved, and can grow into their full potential. My pastor often reminds us that we have “unsurpassable worth“, that each person is lovingly created by God. Each person is cherished for they are. Each person adds something that is beautiful or unique, and makes this world a better place by your existence in it. You deserve so much more than to live a life of abuse or fear, you deserve to be happy, to be safe, and to enjoy life for all the blessings it has to offer.

If anyone is involved in an abusive relationship, I urge you to reach out for yourself, and your children, to get professional help or support.

Abused men can reach out to the following organizations for help:

For Men and Women: The National Domestic Violence Hotline or 1-800-799-7233 | 1-800-787-3224 (TTY)

Read FULL Story: 

Abused husband, 45, who suffered 12 years of beatings at hands of his hard-drinking teacher wife set up a spy camera to film her campaign of violence – but DEFENDS her after she is convicted (Daily Mail)

Battered husband secretly filmed wife attacking him as he feared police would not believe him, court hears (The Telegraph)


The Combination of Domestic Abuse and Alcohol (by Buddy T) 

Alcohol triggers abuse (Guyana Times)

Help for Men Who Are Being Abused

Lundy Bancroft’s website

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Mother Sexually Assaulted During Custody Exchange: Understand the Risks of Post Separation Violence

(New Ulm, Brown County, Minnesota: May 16, 2017) – Derek Michael Roethler has been charged with two counts of criminal sexual conduct and one count of domestic assault after sexually assaulting his ex-partner during a custody exchange. When questioned by police, Roethler claims he did not hurt his ex-partner but rather, they were just playing “50 Shades of Gray”.

Roethler allegedly followed the victim into the bathroom and then removed his pants and touched the victim sexually. The victim fought back, hitting and biting Roethler. The child walked into the bathroom during the assault and cried after witnessing Roethler hurt his mother. The victim told the child to run for help, at which point Roethler fled.

Roethler has a lengthy criminal history and made the news in September 2016 for a felony drug charge, at the time of arrest he displayed bizarre behavior and was believed to be high on methamphetamines:  NU man faces felony drug charge

At the time of this posting, this case is still ongoing. National surveys estimate that 1.5 -3 million women are victims of physical or sexual violence at the hands of their partners or ex-partners each year (Tjaden & Thoennes, 2000).

Source: New Ulm Man Accused Of Sexual Assault Claims 50 Shades Of Grey

What Can Be Learned: Identifying Risks to Children When Abuse Allegations are Raised

This case is just one example, of countless many, of a mother who was a victim of violence that occurred during custody exchange. What we learn from this tragedy can be used to raise awareness of the escalation of violence that occurs post separation. And, hopefully, that knowledge can be used to improve the system’s response to domestic violence, to include offering supportive services and increased legal protections to victims. 

It is not clear if domestic violence had happened during this relationship but it is important to note that studies consistently show that the risk to children from parents who perpetrate domestic violence does not decrease after separation. It is a myth (that borders on victim blaming) to assume that once the victim leaves the relationship, the abuse ends. In reality, safety risks to children from domestic violence increase post separation. And in some cases, results are fatal.

Shared custody and/or visitation arrangements put victims in frequent contact with identified perpetrators of abuse, increasing the risk of harm to both the victim and the child.

Risks Posed to Children from an Abusive and/or Violent Parent Include:

  • Exposure to threats, or violence. Children may be harmed physically or emotionally when caught in the middle of an assault. Alternately, the child may become a target of violence when the abuser seeks to retaliate against an ex partner, or uses the child to gain power and control over an ex partner.  30-60% of children with mothers who are victims of abuse are at risk to be abused by their fathers, and an estimated 3-10 million children witness parental abuse (Edleson, 1999a1999b).
  • Risk of undermining the relationship the child has with the other parent, also known as Domestic Violence by Proxy or alienation. Higher risk of psychological abuse, manipulation and being victims of controlling behavior.
  • Risk of physical, sexual, mental or emotional abuse
  • Risk of neglect or irresponsible parenting
  • Risk of restricting access to children or denying parenting time. The loss of a primary attachment figure is tremendously harmful to children. Another risk of harm occurs when the protective parent is removed from the child’s life, and there is no one advocating for the child or working to keep them safe.
  • Risk of parental abduction 
  • The abuser as a role model as poses a risk to children in various ways as they cannot appropriately nurture, guide or discipline children.
  • A child who is a victim to abuse or has witnessed domestic violence cannot heal when they are forced into contact with an abuser, or exposed to continued abuse. For children, the experience of growing up with an abusive parent is extremely traumatic, and leaves lifelong scars.

Lundy Bancroft, domestic violence expert with over 20 years experience working with abusive men in a counseling program, wrote an excellent article on the risks posed to children from abusers, and how to identify potential harm: Assessing Risk to Children from Batterers by Lundy Bancroft and ASSESSING RISK TO CHILDREN FROM BATTERERS Lundy Bancroft and Jay G. Silverman (2002)

Those who have the ability to intervene – family court professionals, CPS, therapists, medical doctors, crisis workers, advocates etc – need to be educated on domestic violence (and I mean not just one class but ongoing training or education) to understand how it manifests post separation and trained to identify a potential risk of harm to victims and their children. Identifying harm cannot rely solely on physical or sexual abuse but also must account for emotional and psychological abuse, coercive control and alienation behaviors as being detrimental to children.

In addition, when a family court considers a parenting time or custody, safety must be a priority. Parents who raise abuse allegations should not be ignored or punished, but rather, given the assistance and support they need to be safe. And children should not be sent into unsupervised visits or contact with a parent who poses a risk of physical, sexual, emotional or psychological injury to the child.

This free, online guide is an excellent resource for  family court judges (also helpful for advocates, GALs and family court professionals) to help assess risk factors to a child, to review the evidence to ensure the safety and well-being of a child is met, and to draft orders that maximize safety: A Judicial Guide to Child Safety in Custody Cases

The family court has a responsibility to develop, and utilize, practices that promote safety for victims of domestic violence as this is truly the “best interest” of children. And as a society we cannot afford to ignore domestic violence, the stakes are too high for our children – and for our well-being as a community, as a whole. 

~ Emily Court, © 2017



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Crisis in Wales: Hundreds of Children Missing From State Care

Public Domain:

Source: Wales Online

Author: Thomas Deacon

Date: 7/22/2017

Link:  Shocking figures show hundreds of Wales’ most vulnerable children are going missing

Hundreds of children from Wales, who have been taken into state care, have gone missing – including a baby who was less than a year old. The children are all at risk of – or could have been experienced – exploitation on the streets, abuse and human trafficking.

According to an investigation conducted by Wales Online, “Figures obtained through freedom of information requests found dozens of children in care were reported missing between January 2015 and May 2017 in at least 1,695 separate missing incidents, with some children going missing on multiple occasions.

Caerphilly council’s response revealed teenage girls and boys as young as 14 were missing for as long as several weeks at a time, including a boy missing throughout the whole of last Christmas.

Catriona Williams, chief executive of charity Children in Wales, said it was “extremely dangerous” that the whereabouts of children in care were potentially unknown, adding that they were “particularly targeted” by paedophiles and drug dealers…

And,”According to data from the National Crime Agency, 43% of missing children incidents in Wales in the 2015-16 financial year related to children in care, who account for fewer than 1% of the child population…

Local authorities are charged with finding the children and promised to do better. It seems no one in social services or the government is investigating the circumstances which lead up to the children going missing from state care, whether placements are safe, or if the children are being properly monitored by social workers.

As of March 2016, close to 6,000 children have been taken into state care in Wales. What happens to the children when they go missing remains unknown.

I urge Wales Online to continue its investigation, and this news outlet may be the only hope we have for getting some answers – and giving voice to these vulnerable children, who have disappeared without any real urgency from the system to find them. 

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